Bottoms up to Australian culture

The latest entry in our “Only in Australia” file is the minor incident in Brissie on Thursday evening, when the Prime Minister was at the Carindale Hotel for a “Politics in the Pub” event, and made his way to the front of the bar for a beer, as the cameras rolled ... only for a regular patron to start shouting at him, to wait his bloody turn! After all, was he Malcolm Turnbull, or Lord Muck?

I know, I know, proper respect for the democratically elected leader of our nation would have seen the aggrieved patron pull his bloody head in, and wave the PM through.

But I still love the fact that we are surely one of the only nations where such a thing would happen in the first place. Such a scene would be unimaginable through all of Asia, Africa, Europe and most of the Americas.

And 25 years on, I still cherish the time when I found myself with my Missus in a queue of 25 people to get into brekkie at the Mirage Resort, to find Governor-General Bill Hayden and his wife Dallas waiting patiently right behind us.

Again, only in Australia . . .

The ABC of staying in power

The government’s apparent slash and burn policy on the ABC? It is political madness, in my view. Yes, it throws a big chunk of red meat to ABC-haters, but how many are they really, compared to the large mass who love the national broadcaster? I disclose I am doing a guest stint on the ABC shortly – with the fee donated, on the off-chance you care – but it alters my view not a jot. As a national institution they simply do not come more cherished than the ABC, and governments beat up on it at their peril.

Joke of the week

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend?” Bob replies, “She's my wife!”

They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age,” Bob replies.

“What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”

Quotes of the week

“The royal wedding is escapist nonsense; a real-life soap opera for people who fantasise about fame, riches, status and fairy-tale romance. Good luck to Meghan and Harry but don’t expect me to fawn over them.” Peter Tatchell, the Australian human rights campaigner, now living in London. Surveys show that two-thirds of the Brits themselves have no interest in it.

“What has happened with Jane is a bloody disgrace.” Veteran Liberal MP Warren Entsch about the pre-selection defeat of assistant minister Jane Prentice, saying that Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull should intervene and save her.

“You have to win the support of your local members to be re-endorsed, and that’s something all of us have to do.” Malcolm Turnbull, trying to pretend everything’s just fine about Jane Prentice.

“I know she has irritated some people who supported her last time. Jane was pitching herself as centrist or centre right. She has probably turned out to be more of a leftie Lib.” An anonymous Victorian Liberal on the perceived problem with another woman facing a pre-selection challenge, Senator Jane Hume.

“You can be the most popular person on the Titanic, but the ship’ll still sink.” Guardian columnist Van Badham about Malcolm Turnbull still being the preferred prime minister in opinion polls.

“I’m certainly hoping for the best, planning for the worst but expecting everything to be as we’ve set out.” New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern about her arrangements for maternity leave.

“I told them it's just another day at school. Don't worry about it, just take it in your stride.” NSW Education Minister Rob Stokes’ advice to his own children, who sat the NAPLAN tests this week.

“I always believed in the wisdom of the people and that if we fought hard enough we would eventually prevail. At a time when democracy is in retreat around the world, I hope that the people of Malaysia have given some hope to people around the world clamouring for their own freedom.” Anwar Ibrahim as he walked free from custody with a royal pardon. Anwar was convicted of sodomy in 2015 in a case he said was aimed at crushing his alliance after making gains against Malaysia’s long-ruling coalition government.

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz