Justin Bieber ... Have yourself a very douchey Christmas. Source: Supplied

But while Buble’s made new Christmas albums redundant, he hasn’t stamped out the good old fashioned crappy Christmas song.

Here are some of our favourite festive follies.

MADGE & HAROLD: OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS

What the what! Yes, it’s *that* Madge and Harold from Neighbours. This Christmas single from 1989 didn’t exactly follow Kylie and Jason up the charts. One quick listen explains why — chin wobbler Harold can hold his own vocally, but Anne Charleston’s gravelley singing voice sounds like Patti and Selma from The Simpsons gargling sand. Didn’t they have autotune in 1989?

Madge and Harold’s Christmas song ... it missed the chart and went straight to op shops. Source: Supplied

RAMSAY STREET’S HIP HOP CHRISTMAS

What the what again! The late ’80s cast of Neighbours — including Harold, Madge, Jim, Plain Jane Super Brain, Des, Paul Robinson and Henry do a faux hip-hop of the Neighbours theme for a British Christmas promotion. It contains tweaked lyrics like “Neighbours sit and listen to your problems because they’re too nice to say ‘Go away’.’’ If you can last to the 2.40 mark you’ll see the cast in punk wigs imitating Sex Pistols with a shout out to Anarchy in the UK. Seriously. It ends with Madge going “to see INXS” while Harold and the cast bust breakdance moves. Again, seriously.

WHIGFIELD: LAST CHRISTMAS

Remember Whigfield? She was the ’90s equivalent of Havana Brown. The same year her excruciating Sexy Eyes was a hit in Australia she inflicted the worst version of the best Christmas pop song ever — Wham!’s Last Christmas. This only charted in Spain, which meant George Michael barely made enough out of it to go and buy a packet of rollie papers. Whigfield is the Europop grinch that ruined (Last) Christmas.

BERT NEWTON: BRING BACK THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

It’s 1981 and Bert, with help from the Debney Park High School Band, made a Christmas single on the old Fabel label. Moonface doesn’t sing (the kids do that), he just speaks. Bert reminisces about a pre-plastic tree era where he and his dad would head to a park for a free pine tree. “Dad and I would saw off one small bough, I guess they’d send you to jail for that now,” Bert states. They must have been tough times in 1981. Even before he was eligible to be a grumpy old man Bert moans about how the old days were better. “People seemed soft, friendly and kind,” he says. “Christmas created that state of mind.” They should play this in shopping centres at Christmas when they need to clear everyone out.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK: FUNKY, FUNKY CHRISTMAS

We’re surprised One Direction haven’t banged out a Christmas album in their quest to shake down every last bit of pocket money from their fans. That’s what prototype boy band New Kids did back in the day. With seriously white rapping skills they tell stories of turning the fire off so Santa doesn’t “burn his butt’’, and in a nod to Vanilla Ice this was such a quick cash grab the line “Throw your hands in the air, pause, kick the ballistics Santa Claus’’ actually made the cut.

GARY GLITTER — ANOTHER ROCK AND ROLL CHRISTMAS

The definition of creepy? Listening to evil pop paedophile Gary Glitter sing lyrics like “you’ll never guess what you’ve got for me” and “I love to hear the children sing” with the benefit of hindsight. Ugh.

All that glitters ... beware of creepy old men at Christmas. Source: Supplied

ROLF HARRIS: CHRISTMAS IN THE SUN

Rolf is spending this Christmas behind bars for actual crimes, not just musical ones like this rotten festive nod to Australian Christmases. Who would have thought those Coles ads weren’t the worst thing Status Quo’s Rick Parfitt would have done? “Yeah what are you going to get me for Christmas lads?,” Rolf says at one point. How about solitary confinement and mouldy old pudding, you dirty old man.

ROFL ... now he’s ruined Christmas and sitting on Santa’s knee too. Source: Supplied

JUSTIN BIEBER: DRUMMER BOY

Turbo douche does his take on Little Drummer Boy, where he spits rhymes like this “Playin’ for the King, playin for the Title, I’m surprised you didn’t hear this in the Bible. I’m so tight, I might go psycho, Christmas time so here’s a recital.”’ Jay-Z sleeps soundly.

BILLY IDOL: JINGLE BELL ROCK

If you’re read Billy Idol’s excellent autobiography you’ll know he spent a lot of his career ingesting quantities of drugs that should have killed him decades ago. Maybe he was having a chemical moment when he agreed to make a Christmas album? His voice actually sounds good, but what would Sid Vicious say? YouTube commentators often say it best, like this one: “I did not previously know this existed. I kind of wish that was still true.”

And the worst Christmas song of all time?

JOHN TRAVOLTA & OLIVIA-NEWTON JOHN: I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE IT

Where do you start? The Grease stars reunite for this country Christmas song. It gets worse. John Travolta at least gets in the festive mood — it looks like he’s sprayed his hair on the way you’d spray Santa snow from a can onto a window or Christmas tree. Soon the raging heterosexuals are hugging in a not-at-all awkward manner before bootscooting. If there’s a Christmas in hell, this video is on repeat.

Scientologists can enjoy Christmas too ... Happy Christmas Xenu! Source: Supplied