Yup, Kaufusi has subsequently been charged with a grade-two dangerous tackle, and will likely be suspended for his trouble, but just what does it take to get sent from the field in an NRL match these days. If a swinging elbow to an opponent’s head, causing him to taken from the field, ga-ga, doesn’t cut it, what does it take?

A knife?

Sleeping through the America’s Cup

How very, very odd.

Back in 1983 when Australia won the America’s Cup, it was – I kid you not – pretty much the most exciting moment in Australian sporting history. Americans of a certain age remember where they were when they heard that President Kennedy was shot. For us of a certain age, it was where were you when Australia II took the lead in the final race. About to cross the bridge, when Ron Casey broke into an advertisement to say, “Australia II has taken the lead – you beauty!”

And yet now?

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Now, you and me, babe, we didn’t even know the America’s Cup was on, until it was bloody well over!

When, in the history of Australian sport, has white-hot obsession faded to stone-cold motherless nothing in just a few decades. One of my brothers is interested, true, but he is a sailing nutter. And while he loves those weird things coming out of the bottom of the boats from an engineering perspective, to me it doesn’t even look like sailing, but some space-age technical innovations that mean the engineers are more important than the skipper and sailors themselves.

I meant that was fine when we broke through with the winged keel, courtesy of Ben Lexcen, to sink that ingrate Dennis Connor, but now it has gone too far. In short, stop the boat, I want to get off! And you, I suspect, are way ahead of me.

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Where are Suaalii assessors?

And so the NRL actually granted the waiver to throw a 17-year-old Joseph Suaalii into the toughest football cauldron on earth, thus thwarting the very purpose that the rule was brought in for – to protect young men, ill-equipped to deal with the pressures, after no fewer than five of them died just before Shane Richardson squired the rule through, in 2015.

Of course they did.

When developments have called for the welfare of players to be put ahead of ratings, turnstiles and sponsorships, when has the NRL ever behaved differently?

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Yes, this was all dressed up, of course, in there having been a “rigorous process” with physical and psychological assessments, but, as ever, no names were put to it, and there were no quotes from professionals in the field prepared to put their credibility on the line.

Why not?

If this is all straightforward, then why can’t the rigorous process also be a transparent process? Why can’t we see the names of the professional assessors together with their views. Be proud, you assessors! This is all so straightforward, you’ve given the green light, so let’s put your names in lights too!

Crickets.

Indigenous honour for surf team

Love this. Surfers representing Australia at this year’s Olympics – the first time surfing is a recognised sport – will go by the name of the Irukandjis, the highly venomous jellyfish, found on the north coast of Queensland. You mess with them at your peril. The name has been authorised as a gift from the local Yirrganydji people with their encouragement: go get ’em. No mercy!

Walker was one of a kind

Murray Walker? Look, he wasn’t Denis Cometti in terms of the finely calibrated cleverness of his commentary over the decades, but he was certainly widely and deeply loved like Cometti for his quotes and was, in the words of one of his Australian twitterati fans, “to F1 & motor sport commentary what Richie Benaud was to cricket, [while] Clive James described his style as ‘pants on fire commentary’.” You get the drift. Now, in the wake of his death this week, many of his classic comments – most of them up the Rex Mossop end of the spectrum – have been circulating. Here is a quick burst:

“There’s nothing wrong with the car except that it’s on fire.”

“And the first five places are filled with five different cars.“

“It would have been Senna’s third win in a row if he’d won the two before.”

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“I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are totally unimaginable.”

“The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it which is identical.”

“I don’t make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.“

“With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go.”

“That’s history. I say history because it happened in the past.”

“And now, excuse me while I interrupt myself.”

“And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One Racing.”

“Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna’s car sounding a bit rough?”

What They Said

Clint Gutherson saying what HAD TO BE SAID, after the Eels came back from a 16-0 deficit at half-time to beat the Brisbane Broncos: “It was a game of two halves.”

James Graham looking back on his previous seemingly blase remarks on concussion: “I said some things which were potentially me trying to portray that image and have that reputation of that’s who I thought I needed to be . . . having a reputation on the field as a guy that didn’t really care and wanting to be that guy and wanting to be feared.”

Graham: “I had to do some really deep thinking about what I wanted to do and what were the consequences of me hanging up the boots [early] because of concussion or the potential for future brain diseases. Where was the purpose going to be filled in my life? I personally felt like I needed a cause. I thought about what’s the meaning of life? Maybe for me, finding the meaning of life was finding something worth dying for . . . [League] was the be-all and potential end-all of my life and I’ll have to live with that forever.”

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Sea Eagle Dylan Walker after the 46-4 drubbing by the Roosters: “It’s hard to take, to be honest. It’s s--thouse. It’s not up to our standard. If I had to put it down to anything it was just an attitude thing. We didn’t rock up. We did for the first 10 or 15 minutes but then we let the game get away from us and Roosters put us to the sword.”

Cronulla Shark Toby Rudolf, on live television, on what he intended to do after the Sharks win over St George: “Go to Northies, try and pull something – anything will do.” There was hell to pay.

British Cycling doctor Richard Freeman after found guilty of ordering testosterone with the intent to dope: “I’m still shocked at this verdict. I’ve made plenty of mistakes but I’m not a doping doctor. It’s so disappointing. It’s unbelievable. I have never doped a rider in my life.”

Matthew Johns on players being influenced on-field by their fantasy football stats: “I’ve heard rumours from another club that middle forwards argue about taking the ball at kick-off. That used to be the worst thing for a forward, but not anymore because they get 20 metres out of that.”

One of Marvellous Marvin Hagler’s more famous quotes, recalled this week, on his death at the age of 66: “It’s tough to get out of bed to do roadwork at 5 am when you’ve been sleeping in silk pajamas.”

Hagler: “If they cut my bald head open, they will find one big boxing glove. That’s all I am. I live it.”

Zlatan Ibrahimovic on his return to the Swedish national side: “The return of the God.”

Alexander Zverev not happy with the tennis rankings: “I am the biggest fan of Roger Federer but he hasn’t played in a year and he is ahead of me in the rankings. I played a grand slam final, a Masters 1000 final, won two tournaments.”

Pele to Cristiano Ronaldo after breaking Pele’s record for most goals scored in official matches: “Life is a solo flight. Each makes his own journey. And what a beautiful journey you are having. I admire you a lot, I love watching you play and this is no secret to anyone. Congratulations on breaking my record of goals in official matches.”

Australian James Spithill on racing with the losing Luna Rossa in the final of the America’s Cup: “At times it felt we were taking a knife to a gunfight. But for Luna Rossa, what a fight. It’s just been an amazing experience, definitely a highlight of my career. I love the fight, I love competing. That’s my fourth Cup final in a row and two wins and two losses, so I can’t leave it there, I’ve got to tip it the right way.”

Team of the Week

Sam Kerr. Scored hat-trick for Chelsea in Women’s League Cup final.

New Zealand. Won the America’s Cup. (I know. Me, too. But don’t say that out loud. The point is,they still care, and good luck to them!)

The King’s School 1st VIII. Won Head of the River over a very strong Shore crew for first Kings 1st VIII win since 2007. Coached by former Wallaby fullback, Julian Huxley and his brother Simon Huxley.

AFL. Bounces off this weekend

Russell Okung. The Carolina Panther had his salary paid in bitcoin, pushing the value of a $13 million deal to more than $21million.

Cristiano Ronaldo. Overtook Pele to score the most goals in official matches ever.

RIP Marvellous Marvin Hagler. He fought in 67 professional fights, winning 62, losing three, drawing twice, reigning as undisputed middleweight champion for almost seven years – and died surprisingly young, aged just 66.

RIP Murray Walker. The legendary British motor-sport commentator died this week, aged 97.

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz