And so it continued, with the couple telling each other where to go, and let’s just say the destinations didn’t sound too appealing. Eventually the husband left the room, slamming the door aggressively behind him.

“Are you married?”, the woman asked me calmly, as if what I had just witnessed was so commonplace it didn’t deserve addressing.

“Er, no, I’m not.”

“You are lucky,” she continued. “Stay that way. Marriage is hell.”

Since that video meeting, I have been haunted by that couple, especially now that Victoria, where they live, is in lockdown again. I have been imagining how they are faring with each other and their obvious issues and fear for their kids (the woman’s bio says she is a mother of two youngsters) living in such a toxic environment of anger and antipathy.

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For me, this couple is indicative of what I am most concerned about amid this pandemic – far more so than the virus itself – and that is the hostility going on behind closed doors in close confines. Yes, living alone can be lonely – especially in lockdown. But to live with someone you loathe and to express that hatred through abuse? Well, it makes me agree with my interview subject that, yes, marriages truly can be a living hell.

This week, data from a long-running Australian National University study of COVID-19’s wider effects show about half of all Australians are more stressed and many feel lonely and/or isolated. while one in five females (17.6 per cent) and males (17.5 per cent) admitted their relationships were worse off.

While this rise is worrying enough, sadly, I believe these stats are not accurately reflecting the real horror story out there, considering police services, criminal law and family violence support lines are all reporting higher than usual calls in regards to violence issues. Add to this the fact Google has revealed a 75 per cent spike in searches for domestic abuse and we have to face the fact we have another deadly epidemic on our hands.

Relationships Australia national executive officer Nick Tebbey agrees that it is difficult to estimate just what is happening in households and, while respecting the ANU research, fears the numbers of relationship stresses and breakdowns could be much higher, too.

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“It is right to be concerned as the pandemic is affecting all of us negatively in some way,” he says. “Mental, emotional and financial strain combined with families being confined in close quarters creates an opportunity for tensions to mount and risk factors to increase. We are certainly seeing a lot of relationship breakdowns as a result.

“In fact, we ran our own survey back in May/June and 42 per cent of our respondents reported their relationships have been impacted negatively as a result of the pandemic and lockdown. That said, some couples are reporting they are growing closer as a result, which the ANU research [citing 31 per cent of women and 25 per cent of men said their relationships had actually improved] backs up. However there is no denying there are a lot of couples in trouble and a lot of children being affected.”

What worries me is that physical violence is only one form of abuse. Other forms such as fiscal, verbal and emotional abuse may not leave bruises but are often as sinister and damaging. Which brings me back to that disturbing view I had into a complete stranger’s relationship this week, the unabashed revulsion and disgust and disdain they exhibited to each other which seemed so normal to them.

Yes, I know the reasons people stay in relationships are complex and myriad and getting out is not as easy as many ignorantly believe it to be. But in my mind, there is never an excuse for abuse, even verbal, ever. Nor is there any valid reason to allow children to witness such acts and absorb such behaviours as normal.

So, I implore those of you who are at each other’s throats to show some semblance of civility and respect during this unprecedented and trying of times. It might not be easy. It will take restraint. But it is absolutely vital. Mr Tebbey agrees. “Yes, this message may sound simplistic but it is so important. Honest and open communication is imperative at this time. You must talk to your partners civilly about what is going on and be respectful and frank. And you should make alone time for yourself to check in with what you are feeling and processing. Especially if you have children who can’t communicate their wants and fears as easily.”

This pandemic’s statistics are frightening enough without more unnecessary deaths and heartache adding to its already catastrophic toll. Yes, relationships are hard and there will always be rough days – especially now. But they should never be hell. Or harmful.

Wendy Squires is a regular columnist.