Carrie Bickmore has spoken about the first few months of her “third stint at motherhood”, worts and all this week.
She’s the television and radio host who has won Australians over everywhere for her candid nature when it comes to her off-screen life with partner Chris Walker and her three children.
In a column, written for this week’s Stellarmagazine, Carrie talks about the sleepless nights, crippling anxiety and mystery ailments that come with having a family.
Carrie has maintained an open dialogue with her fans and followers throughout her pregnancy, regularly sharing the highs and lows of motherhood on her Instagram.
Carrie writes that her third pregnancy with Adelaide, who is now five-months-old, has been “one of the most challenging periods of my parenting life”.
“I realise now I had it pretty easy during the newborn phase with my other two kids,” Carrie writes in Stellar.
“This little poppet has needed to be held day and night for six weeks straight.”
Carrie also details her little girl’s struggle with severe reflux, an illness that has stressed her out and led to many sleepless nights.
“Sounds like such a gentle affliction, but it’s genuinely torn us a new one,” she says.
At just two-months-old, Addie — as she is affectionately called by her parents — prefers “catnaps”, meaning her mother doesn’t get a lot of time to herself.
“I try to hold onto perspective, reminding myself there are new mums doing it tougher with really sick babies, no support networks, or twins!” Carrie says.
“But keeping perspective with no sleep is like trying to catch a fish that’s just been shot out of a cannon.”
In her piece for Stellar, Carrie recalls a particularly distressing time when Chris took her son Ollie on an annual boys’ trip away for a night.
By midnight, Carrie says her anxiety was “somewhere near boiling point” while trying to wrangle her two small children into bed.
“I felt trapped at home and in desperate need of a break,” she writes.
“I was jealous of Chris’s night of freedom and sleep …”
By 3.15am, Carrie says she had sent her partner a barrage of desperate messages, frantically asking for baby advice, expressing how anxious she felt, and worrying if she had postnatal depression.
“He calls and my anxiety immediately drops. By sunrise, I’m much calmer. (Why are the nights so much lonelier?)” Carrie writes.
Now five-months-old, Adelaide’s reflux has recovered, with the help of medication, and the family appears to be settling into a routine.
“I think we’re through the toughest bit,” she writes hopefully.
“Tomorrow will bring new challenges, but today I feel lucky.
Carrie sent a “giant fist bump” to the families out there making it work.
“I wish you calmer times ahead. Keep telling yourself: the nights are long but the years are short.”
Carrie Bickmore’s raw, honest piece of writing can be read in full in this week’s Stellar magazine.