But once you do enough work to get to that magical answer – "No" – the fun begins: strategising.

1. Be honest: "I really need a night in tonight."

The gold standard of saying "no" is to be as honest as possible while staying within your boundaries, knowing your limits and taking responsibility. Stay down to earth and remember you're just turning down an invitation.

2. Ghost: "I'll see you there."

Saying you will but not going is a handy, if rude, tool reserved for the bravest and/or most inconsiderate and/or heartless. At best, you skate by without question, though they realise you never attended, wondering if it was intentional or not. At worst, you would be confronted and could come clean, ranging from brutal honesty to a white lie.

3. Lie: "I should go to the doctor, or something. I'm sick."

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Lying is … not especially recommended. But there are times when you throw caution to the wind and try the least advisable option to see how terrible your life can get, which can be thrilling sometimes.

It's self-destructive. Or, it's your only resort because you're dealing with a tricky situation like your boss demanding something impossible of you, or an unreasonable person you have to satiate.

In this situation, be sure to not incriminate yourself on social media.

4. Make it their problem: "I have a lot of stuff to do, and I'm kind of freaking out."

This is where you over-apologise or wax poetic about how terrible you feel, which forces them to console you and gets you off the hook. It's manipulative! And also not advised.

Try using words and ideas that they understand and share, which brings you closer to each other than it would if you used jargon ("I'm on deadline" versus "Stuck working," although perhaps they are also "on deadline").

5. Panic and manic: "OMG! OMG! Please."

Let the adrenaline carry you, sink into the "fight or flight" response and see what happens.

Channel your worst fear – like saving a dog from a dangerous revolving door, or maybe there's a speeding car.

Bring out that animal urge to let the other person know you will not be taken advantage of, that you know what's important: Saving yourself.

The New York Times