America is a disaster zone, with hordes of brainless monsters wandering its streets, a country led down a path of destruction by a succession of arrogant, deluded men.
The only hope is a woman — but not just any woman. The survivor of an abusive husband who saw her daughter die, was forced to kill a child she loved and has long grey hair and wrinkles.
Of course I’m not talking about the political situation or Donald Trump. I’m talking about something far more important — who will be the next central hero of cult zombie hit The Walking Dead.
Still, if a real-life Carol did end up running for office, I’d certainly vote for her. Her debates with political foes would be fantastic.
Carol’s take on Voltaire is less along the lines of: “I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it” and more: “I disapprove of what you say and I shall invite you to look at the flowers while I shoot you in the back of the head.”
For those few deluded souls who bizarrely don’t enjoy the sight of zombies having their heads sliced, diced, splattered, stabbed, impaled and crushed, The Walking Dead is now in the middle of its ninth season.
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But, like one of its zombies, or “Walkers”, it has been stumbling along for a couple of seasons now, losing viewers and important body parts, topped off by the show’s star Andrew Lincoln pulling the pin.
Now, with no Rick Grimes, some fans want his sidekick Daryl Dixon (played by Norman Reedus) to be the focus of the show.
But I reckon that would be a bigger mistake than playing tonsil hockey with a zombie.
Instead, they need to turn to Carol, played by Melissa McBride.
There has never been a better time to have an older woman, who actually looks like an older woman but can kick butt with the best of the men, take control of a major television show.
They could have also used Maggie (Lauren Cohen) but she’s caught up in a contract dispute and has disappeared from the show.
Presumably she will only be back if they need something dramatic to boost ratings.
Michonne (Danai Gurira) is another option but that character only turned up at the end of season two — and Gurira is also in demand for movies such as Black Panther and Avengers, meaning she may not be around for the long term. But, even if she was, I reckon it has to be Carol.
Yes, she ticks every empowerment box but, more than that, she’s one of the best characters written for TV.
Only she can bring The Walking Dead back to life.