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But my disenchantment with the Open isn’t really about the vagaries of scheduling. It’s the ubiquity of sponsorship. All tournaments have sponsors. Even Wimbledon has the name of a watch on its scoreboard. The US Open, like the Australian, sells advertising space on the net. The French Open, for all its style and class, also has signs around Centre Court. I was there in May: I counted four sponsors’ names whereas here I gave up after seven. And only here is MELBOURNE written on the playing surface, lest anyone confuse it with Manhattan.

We’re meant to be delighted about this. This month, Open officials proudly announced a major sponsorship deal for “coveted corner signage” with what was described as “an aspirational Chinese distillery”. (Hmm. Isn’t there meant to be an unhealthy link between alcohol and sport?) Open tournament director Craig Tiley, keen on world domination, was reported as saying: “Soon you will see advertising on the court which won’t be brands people know in Australia, but they will be brands one billion people know in China ...” Great. Perplexing signs.

Apparently I’ve got this wrong. A catchcry from mission control is: “Think you know the Australian Open? Think again.” There’s something for everyone, including people who can’t tell Venus from Serena. Fine, but I noticed at Roland Garros this year that the French don’t confuse a tennis tournament with a pop festival. I also acknowledge that it’s tough to make a case against sponsorship when some players are walking billboards. And that Kooyong in the 1970s, when Newk defeated Jimmy Connors (I remember that, too), sported prominent ads for cigarettes. But when is enough, enough?

I’m in a quandary here. Down three break-points. I could save money on tickets. Stay home and turn on the telly. But that’s also changing. TV rights have gone from Seven to Nine, which recently showed off Open trophies on its news-desk. Nine has already trumpeted it will be using “an innovative cross-pillar strategy”. Oh dear. We could be in for a summer of Big Bash-style tennis. Never mind the quality of coverage or commentary, check out the daring camera angles. The Open is now a “community event built around food, music, kids and the game of tennis”. In that order. But the TV honchos love their tennis. One has said: “The Australian Open is the greatest aggregator of eyeballs on consecutive nights in Australian television.”