Dorian Gray, the central figure in Oscar Wilde’s only novel, is a beautiful young man and subject of a painted portrait which changes hideously over time, reflecting the sins and hedonistic lifestyle of the sitter while the man himself appears ageless.

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Given the hysterical reaction to Alex Rance’s staging for a free kick last Saturday and the fact that he physically looks exactly the same this week, it’s not unreasonable to suggest there may be a grotesque portrait of the handsome Tiger defender festering away in an attic.

His great work developing students’ athletic abilities and four consecutive All Australian nods seem to have been ignored in the hue and cry that followed THAT dive. Were he alive today, Wilde would relish skewering the confected outrage and rubbery high-mindedness.

Perhaps he had football in mind when he wrote his popular play The Importance Of Being Earnest.