Every now and then, you’ll be surprised to know, I have a crisis of confidence. I wonder to myself “am I wrong about the language of business? Am I selecting from what happens to be a tiny minority of preposterous bosh and unfairly holding it up as representative, when in fact the corporate world, on the whole, communicates clearly and elegantly?”

I get my answer when you, dear readers, send me emails.

Here are some excerpts from my favourite types of correspondence: the ones where you send me verbatim barbarisms that you’ve come across in your own work lives:

"With the appointment of [NAME], we will be conducting a detailed assessment of the end-to-end processes involved in taking a series of compelling ideas through a prioritisation funnel and into an agile product development engine with the end game having a portfolio of differentiated, high-performing offerings delivering an excellent return on investment."

“... and just because I’m the CEO, doesn’t mean I don’t get emotionally involved … I’m actually chomping at the bit for the next 12 months, moving forward. Truth told, I’m writing this at my stand-up desk and I’m thrusting my hips yelling “COME AT ME, FINANCIAL YEAR!”