The "smart casual" rebellion at Kew’s Trinity Grammar had me pondering the question of "character," what it means and who gets to have one. Pondering, that is, as I guffawed and snorted, the scenario being so gloriously Pythonesque. An old-school deputy headmaster named Brown (yes Brown!) takes scissors to a boy’s hair in defence of Trinity’s grooming rules, and arguably civilisation itself. For this, the school sacks him after 30 years of service, with the council chairman spouting the corporate-speak to which we’re becoming accustomed about Brown’s actions being "inconsistent with community expectations in this day and age".

Then the Old Boys weigh in with what I suspect will be overwhelming fire — as in, donor — power, issuing ultimatums for Brown’s immediate reinstatement and the principal's and councillors' scalps (three have since resigned) and the airing of elegiac sentiments about the school’s changed direction in recent years, away from an emphasis on "holistic" development, towards one centred on "exceptional" ATAR scores, growth and profit.

On the substance of this dispute, I resent being cajoled into holding a view at all. Just as the society murder gets more clicks than a killing in struggle-town, so too the battles of public school parents in modest postcodes for basic educational infrastructure rate poorly against a dust-up in a bluestone establishment that charges nearly $30,000 in fees. I’m still grimacing over the feverish coverage six years ago of the Methodist Ladies’ College board sacking principal Rosa Storelli over her admittedly not insubstantial entitlements.

On the other hand, the $5 million-odd in recurrent government funding that Trinity collected in 2016 — the most recent accounting on the My School website, which I find useful only for what it reveals about government handouts to the nation’s wealthiest schools — arguably entitles me, and you, to have an opinion. So OK: Brown overstepped with the scissors, the school over-reacted with the sacking, over-reacting with sacking being the new way of things.