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This is the NRL, not Days of Our Lives.
But the so-called "greatest game of all" has turned into a soap opera, with a daily dose of drama surrounding contract negotiations.
To recap the past month: Des Hasler agreed to stay at the Bulldogs; Cooper Cronk announced he was leaving the Storm for love; the Dragons have been squabbling over whether their star Josh Dugan is a centre or a full-back; and Kieran Foran has courted just about every club in New South Wales.
And then there is the three-ring circus at the Wests Tigers.
They have got a new coach in Ivan Cleary, but will he have any players left to put on the paddock?
Mitchell Moses is leaving for Parramatta at the end of the year (although he would prefer to be there now), and James Tedesco and Aaron Woods have been given an ultimatum to re-sign by close of business today or have their contracts pulled.
Is your head spinning yet?
More than 200 players will come out of contract at the end of the season, coinciding with a rise in the salary cap.
Canny managers designed deals to finish in 2017 in order to extract maximum value from the new cap.
Johnathan Thurston, Darius Boyd and Billy Slater are some of the big names who remain unsigned.
The NRL is currently working with the Rugby League Players Association on a salary cap figure for next season, although chief executive Todd Greenberg said the clubs had been given a ballpark figure.
Unlike the AFL, which has a dedicated annual trade period, the NRL allows players to sign or move at any point during the year.
Greenberg said earlier this month he would be open to adopting an AFL-style system, but he does not think the players would be keen.
Moses, Tedesco, Woods and Luke Brooks are all represented by player agent Isaac Moses.
With agents usually commanding a 7 per cent fee, it is in his interest to get the best deal for his clients.
With no trade window in place, negotiations can drag out for months as secret coffee meetings with rival clubs and unconfirmed offers are leaked to the tabloids in an attempt to create a bidding war.
The Tigers' situation has highlighted how farcical these negotiations can become.
It affects on-field performances, sponsors, and ultimately the fans.
With Brooks looking like the only player of the Tigers' big four to stay, a friend's little girl is now devastated that her jersey signed by the likes of Woods and Tedesco will no longer be relevant.
Topics: nrl, rugby-league, sport, balmain-2041, canterbury-2193, australia, nsw