Melbourne’s prestigious Brighton Grammar school is in the spotlight for the wrong reasons again.

The guest speaker — a prominent old boy turned professional athlete — reminisced about mates spurring each other forward when “picking up girls” and later “celebrating each other’s success”.

“It was a particularly ill-advised comment and song selection, given the current climate,” said one Brighton Grammar parent who wished to remain anonymous.

“I just don’t get how the school could be so dumb. They claim the media is very unfair to them, but then do nothing to douse it.”

Earlier this year, two Brighton Grammar Year 11 students were investigated by police after setting up a disturbing “Young Sluts” Instagram account that targeted girls as young as 11 and 12.

One photograph of three Year 6 students was described as an “orgy of YS [Young Sluts]” who would make “prime candidates for the YS Slut Draft to take place in 2016”.

Another read: “[Girl’s name] is an up and coming draft pick in the 2018 slut draft we like to start them young! Key traits- she’s 13 but tits of a 14 year old, loves a**l, but doesn’t mind copping it up the p***y.”

One of the disgusting posts to the ‘Young Sluts’ Instagram account.Source:Supplied

The online group had more than 40 members, the majority of whom appeared to attend the elite boy’s school. The ringleaders, who were both eventually expelled following sustained media pressure, were celebrated first grade football players.

So it was perhaps unfortunate that the guest speaker at the recent speech day equated picking up girls with being “on the footy field”.

“We were always pushing each other from the get go. Whether it be learning in the classroom, on the footy field … or picking up girls — we were always seeking out the next challenge, working hard, trying new things, celebrating each other’s success.”

But the view that intimacy with a girl is a “challenge” that boys should approach in the same way they might approach another pursuit — such as football or academic grades — is precisely the problem, say some parents.

“I hear these boys talk about ‘scoring’ with girls, just like they talk about scoring in football. Like girls are targets, or goals. It’s all part of the same culture that reduces girls to trophies” said one parent.

“There is this footy culture, and it bleeds over into how boys are taught to think, taught to talk about girls. They see them as a prize, a conquest to bond with their teammates over.”

Principal Ross Featherston told news.com.au that the speaker’s “presentation and message to our middle school boys was focused on the importance of aspiration, hard work and persistence”.

“[The returning old boy] briefly spoke in colloquial terms about the fondness of his days as a BGS student.”

The speaker did refer to “picking up girls” which “was an unfortunate reference and we regret that it was made,” Mr Featherston said.

Yet this is also just the latest instalment in a long line of humiliations for the school that often get chalked up to “boys being boys”.

This charming picture was in the Brighton Grammar 2016 Valedictory film, of boys vomiting after a ‘milk run’. Picture: YouTubeSource:Supplied

From students chugging milk and projectile vomiting onto the school oval in an annual tradition known as ‘milk run’, to students being caught placing under-aged bets at the TAB while wearing school uniform, to students producing videos containing homophobic skits and boys behaving like pack animals.

At what point will the school acknowledge that this is a toxic culture?

And it’s not just limited to the students.

Earlier this year, it was reported that Brighton Grammar parents had turned on the victims at the centre of the Young Sluts Instagram scandal, saying that the Year 6 girls “should have been wearing tracksuit pants” [as opposed to school shorts] and asking “what’s the big deal? [The photo] was only up for a few hours”.

A number of parents also bemoaned how the media was “victimising” the [still unnamed] boys responsible, saying “Think about how this will impact the poor boys, one of them is suffering depression”; this was just “a group of boys having fun”; “this ongoing vigilante behaviour has to stop”.

Both boys were accepted into other private schools in Melbourne.

Such skewed values were also on display in May this year, when Brighton Grammar again hit the news for publishing a bizarre blog post on the school’s Understanding Boys blog.

The post asked parents of bullied children to “clean up their side of the street”.

“Is he part of the problem? Even five per cent? Is he a whinger, a complainer, self-absorbed, an exaggerator, loose with the truth, a passive doormat, displaying negative body language, an approval addict, a try hard, critical or a bad sport?

“Time to own your part, and stop playing the victim. Be the victor, not the victim” said the controversial blog post written by Melissa Anderson, who was also scheduled to give a parent talk at the school.

This is just one of a number of bizarre posts on Brighton Grammar’s official blog.

One post titled How boys’ brains are different to girls’ brains begins with a helpful explanation for mothers:

“Mums — do you ever feel like you and your son are speaking different languages? This infographic, which illustrates some of the differences between typical male and female brains, might help you understand why.”

The far-from-scientific infographic on the Brighton Grammar blog.Source:Supplied

Male brains, we learn have “6.5 times more information processing matter” and are good at maths and creating charts, while the lady-brain “can recharge without entering a rest state”.

In another post titled 5 things mums need to know about little boys and their penises, the author explains that mothers can look forward to wiping up their sons’ pee indefinitely.

“You will be cleaning up pee until he leaves home … You could try putting a ping-pong ball or Nutri-grain in the loo for target practice…. [But] unless you want a soggy bottom and a bathroom that smells like a urinal, you’ll want to stock up on the anti-bac wipes.”

The same post also explains that boys will want to talk about how their penises are superior to vaginas — and mothers should learn to tune out:

“He’ll question you about where your willy is, if you feel sad you haven’t got one, and tell you why penises are actually better than vaginas. He’ll spend many mirthful moments reeling off all the names he knows for penises ... You will learn to switch off, eventually.”

But most disturbing of all, in a post titled Bringing up boys — a mum’s top ten tips the author claims that it is “normal and healthy” for boys to hit one another.

“’He hit me!’, ‘No he hit him first!’’- Exhausting? Yes. Normal and healthy? Absolutely. This kind of physical interaction can foster positive relationships, boost the body’s feel-good chemicals and promote intelligence — even if it means stuff around the house is going to get broken.”

The same article explains that while girls “excel” at skills like “sitting still”, boys “adore anything that flies, sails, drives, digs or mixes”. In other words, boys are active, girls are passive. They engage. We politely observe.

Despite all this, the school principal is adamant that Brighton Grammar is leading the charge at promoting gender equality and respectful relationships.

“There is no school more determined than ours to keep teaching the correct attitudes and behaviour to show respect for others” he said.

Today is the final day of the school year at Brighton Grammar. Perhaps next year we will see a little less bravado, and a little more introspection, humility and reform.

Nina Funnell is a journalist, author, and advocate against gender based violence. In 2010 Nina was awarded the Australian Human Rights Community (Individual) award for her work in sexual assault advocacy.