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Oh how we miss you, you inappropriate little treat.
AH, childhood. A time when you would happily eat as much junk food as you could, with nary a care for your health or waistline.
A trip to the local shop was serious business. You had a certain amount of loose change to play with and you did NOT want to make a dud move. Aint nobody got time for chocolate freckles.
Keep walking.Source:Supplied
Nothing brings on a nostalgia kick like the taste of your favourite childhood junk food. But every now and then a product is discontinued and a small part of our history/soul is wrenched from existence.
We felt that keenly this week when he heard the news that the Sunnyboy would be discontinued. No longer will we be able to enjoy a Sunnyboy for five minutes and then kick it to the kerb once all the flavouring has disappeared.
Let us take a trip down memory lane and revisit some of our favourite retro sweets from our childhood, that seem to have vanished from existence.
RIP, deliciousness.
Fun Dip
Sugar with a side of sugar.Source:Supplied
What a wonderful concept. A packet of sugar, that you ferry to your mouth with a paddle made of sugar. This was the pinnacle of treats.
Cadbury Yowie
Rod Slater, Cadbury marketing director at launch of new chocolate 'Yowie' in 1997. He took his chocolate pretty seriously.Source:News Corp Australia
You can keep your Kinder Surprise. The Yowie was the superior toy-chocolate.
Remember cracking open the sweet shell and pulling out a sea cucumber, quoll or wallaby? You could kind of trick your mum into buying you one because it was educational.
Original Toobs
The packaging did not lie. These really *were* tasty.Source:News Corp Australia
Good luck describing what a Toob tastes like. There was no discernible flavour other than ‘savoury’ and ‘very good’. Even the manufacturers had trouble, as the pack above would suggest.
Nerds
The fact that you got two flavours in one box was mind blowing.Source:Supplied
If there is one thing kids like, it is having HEAPS of something. And that was part of Nerds’ charm: you just got so damn many of those little sugar-nuggets. You felt like you would never be this rich again. It was one of the most effective ways to main line sugar straight into your system.
Bertie Beetle
Drowning in Bertie Beetles ... there are worse ways to go, kid.Source:News Limited
The Bertie Beetle is now only available in showbags, so once you grow out of your showbag-consuming years you never really get to have them any more. Life is cruel. Make no mistake.
Fags
How charming that they’re trying to spruik the nutritional benefits of glucose ...Source:Supplied
There was so much to like about kids getting around looking like little gangsters. And then the fun police had to come and rename them ‘Fads’ and pretend that they didn’t resemble cigarettes. Sure. Wandering around with something resembling a white pipe-cleaner dangling from your lips is just as bad-ass.
Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs
If you were a child of the ‘80s, there’s a chance this was your jam.Source:Supplied
Who knows what wizardry they used to make the highly sugared coating that turned a humble piece of popcorn into crack for kids. Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs looked like a bag of crisps to your parents, but it was actually more like a huge bag of lollies. That is some genius marketing right there. And that thoroughly wired dude on the bag with blue hair? He was an accurate representation of what a toddler looked like after they had eaten an entire bag.
STOP PRESS: We’ve just discovered they still exist. Who’s in for a bulk order?
Ovalteenies
The Ovalteenie packet: Where every word warranted a capital letter.Source:Supplied
Another thing that you could kind of convince your mum was good for you — they put the word “nutritious†on the package and nobody questioned it because it was the ‘80s. Pretty sure it was the addition of malt that allegedly made it good for you. What even is malt?
Samboy chips with the “flavour bombâ€
The flavour ‘hits you’ ... right in the arteries.Source:Supplied
Kids are a sucker for a novelty. Just look at Tazos. They were just small bits of plastic with pictures on them — only marginally better than the plastic bit at the top of a bag of bread. So when Samboy brought out their chips with the ‘flavour bomb’, every kid worth their (soon to be dramatically increased) salt lined up around the block for them. Side note: this much vinegar actually makes your jaw hurt.
Space Food Sticks
Yum yum, tastes unnatural.Source:Supplied
These were cool because we’d heard Americans talk about them, so Australian kids wanted in. The fact that astronauts ate them made up for the fact that they actually tasted like a boot.