Say what you will about Home & Away’s Colleen Smart, but she was a master at small talk.

You’re alone in the work kitchen, spooning slightly too much Instant Nescafe into a stained coffee mug, hoping the buzz will temporarily alleviate your hangover-sleep-deprivation-midlife-crisis combo.

Suddenly, the wind changes. The lights start flickering ominously. The cockroaches scuttling around the toaster start running around in circles.

“Oh, g’day love! Didn’t see ya there!”

Oh God. She’s found you. Your Annoying Colleague Colleen has entered your private space, and her flashy new Kmart blouse has her feeling especially on a roll today.

“How’s it going? God it’s a windy one outside this morning, ain’t it!? Have you noticed my new blouse? I was freeeeeezin’ on the whole bus ride here!

“I hope it’s on time this evening, because I’ve got this weird rash and need to get to the medical centre before it shuts! Buses are awful. Anyway, what’s new? I like your shoes! Have you noticed my new blouse? God this coffee is good, isn’t it! I don’t know how people spend $4 on lattes every day — I love me a good Nescafe! Have you ever had a weird rash? I hope it’s nothing serious. It just itches a bit. What’s your medical history like? Have you noticed my new blouse?”

Yeah, you know who I’m talking about. It’s a well-known scientific fact that everybody has some variation of Annoying Colleague Colleen in their lives.

Can’t think of one? Hate to break it to you, but you are probably Colleen — the frumpy in-your-face colleague everyone silently avoids, lest it latch onto you like a leech draws blood from the flesh of life.

Here’s the thing: small talk gets a bad reputation, particularly when it’s taken to extremes like this.

But if you know how to work the skill in moderation, so-called “meaningless” conversation can actually be a lot more significant than you think.

HOW NECESSARY IS SMALL TALK?

Some people thrive on small talk, while others loathe and dismiss it as a waste of time.

But according to Professor of Applied Linguistics at Macquarie University Ingrid Piller, a bit of shallow conversation here and there does serve an important purpose.

Speaking to news.com.au, she said small talk is less about what you discuss — the weather, your weekend, a topical news event — and more what it symbolises.

“We need to get past the assumption that small talk is just meaningless talk, and understand that it’s really about managing your relationship with the person,” she said. “If you realise this, you’ve mastered the first secret of being a good small-talker.”

Small talk may be as meaningless as this stock photo interaction looks, but it can be useful.Source:Supplied

Say you’re in the work elevator with a stranger, and you exchange in a few seconds of pleasant conversation about how warm the weather is getting.

“It actually has nothing to do with the weather,” says Dr Piller. “It’s about being confined in a space with a total stranger. We feel the need to have a sense of security, so it’s about saying, ‘I don’t mean you any harm’.

“How do we suss out whether someone is normal? By establishing common ground. That’s the basis of a relationship.”

Even if you’ll never see that person again, Dr Piller says it’s more about exercising a skill that proves useful for future interactions.

HOW DO YOU MAKE SMALL TALK WITHOUT IT GETTING AWKWARD?

Dr Piller says it’s important to engage with the context when you’re making small talk.

“There are no universal perfect topics,” she says. “The weather is ideal, but it exhausts itself quickly. That’s why you have to take it somewhere of interest to both parties in the conversation.

“It may seem shallow, but remember it can help you set about establishing a relationship that’s more long-lasting.”

If the weather is a tired subject, she recommends bringing up a big media story everybody is talking about, particularly in the celebrity and entertainment field.

Failing that, pick out an object in the room to comment on, ask about any upcoming holidays, or say something nice about something they’re wearing.

While this is a learned skill, she acknowledged that some people are naturally better at it than others.

“There’s a well-established difference in psychology between introverts and extroverts,” she said. “Extroverts are often naturally better at interacting. They get a buzz out of talking to other people, while introverts often really dislike relatively empty interactions.”

Dr Piller says a bit of frivolous engagement before a work meeting doesn't go astray.Source:ThinkStock

She said there can also be a cultural difference, noting in her own research that new migrants to Australia — particularly from Asian and continental European backgrounds — often find the concept harder to grasp.

“They’re more about establishing serious relationships, and getting straight to the facts,” said Dr Piller, who herself is from Germany. “Some cultures don’t bother with the niceties. In those cultures, people generally prefer to be direct, efficient and not waste time.”

This doesn’t mean it’s pointless though. She said it just means both parties may need to work a bit harder at establishing common ground.

WHICH TOPICS ARE BEST AVOIDED?

Unless you’re familiar with a person, certain conversations are big no-nos.

Dr Piller advises against bringing up anything that may inspire strong emotions or opinions. Politics and religion are seen as the most taboo topics, but sex, death and health ailments are also best left out.

“There are always jokes about people who ruin a dinner party by telling everybody about their bodily functions,” she said. “Too much detail in certain areas is best avoided.”

She also said it’s important to use your judgment to determine whether someone is willing to engage or not in that moment.

“If you walk into the work kitchen and see someone who doesn’t seem willing to engage, they must just be having a bad hair day,” she said. “Everybody has moments they don’t wish to engage, and that’s fair enough.

“It’s like if you see someone wearing headphones. That probably signifies they don’t want small talk, they don’t want to engage, and that’s fine.”

Of course, there’s exceptions. If someone is wearing headphones, don’t try to engage in small talk with them.Source:istock

However, she did say it’s crucial that people who have problems should be able to discuss them openly so they can get help where needed.

“It’s important for people’s mental health for them to talk about things with people they trust. That’s why small talk is so important — it helps people to get better at establishing these relationships and open up a bit.”

Numerous studies suggest technology has affected our collective ability to engage in face-to-face conversations, saying the dominance of social media among Gen Y has hindered real-life social intimacy.

But Dr Piller completely dismisses these claims.

“We engage in small talk online,” she said. “A lot of what people post and comment on Facebook is basically just small talk in a different medium. It’s still about maintaining the relationship.

“I don’t think it’s the case that we’re getting worse at small talk. Relationships continue to be very important. We’re just taking to them using a different medium.”

If small talk isn’t your cup of tea, set yourself a challenge to give it a go with someone. Even if it feels meaningless in the moment, you never know where it can lead you.

Make meaningless small-talk with Gavin on Twitter at @GavinDFernando.