LIVING in an apartment building comes with its fair share of pros and cons.
On the plus side, they’re easier to maintain than houses and you might feel a bit more secure. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a sweet view or a suave concierge.
On the downside, your neighbours are closer than ever, and unless you’ve bagged yourself a real-life Friends scenario (which, let’s face it, is simply non-existent) it can be downright awful if they’re always running after you.
A man who may well have been dealt the worst neighbours you could ask for has taken to social media for advice, sharing a string of text messages detailing their ridiculous demands.
The user, who goes by the name ChefShwasty on imgur, sounds like a pretty nice bloke.
He explains how earlier this year, new residents moved in directly below him — a married couple and their baby.
He introduced himself, gave them his phone number and threw in the courtesy “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask†spiel.
He also mentioned he had an electric drum kit that he used a few afternoons each week, and that they should feel free to text him if there were any noise issues.
Alas, he says: “What follows is as story of harassment, stalking and blackmail.â€
The day after exchanging numbers, the user received a fairly innocuous request.
The user notes that “drinking†in these first texts meant “drummingâ€. Autocorrect error.
This doesn’t sound too awful, although that passive-aggressive winky face is mildly irritating.
But, as our young hero reveals, the texts soon increase in frequency and demand.
Mind you, according to the user, this diabolic family blasted their stereo most days and nights without stopping. How their “baby†sleeps through that is another question altogether.
“We didn’t want to complain like them, though,†he said. “It felt petty.â€
Now, here’s the point where things start to go from merely annoying to creepy. The user informed the woman they would start drumming around 6.30pm.
Within 15 minutes, he said the woman’s husband stormed upstairs and pounded on his door.
“He demanded that we stop, and paced back and forth in front of the door while he spoke,†the user wrote. “He made a large spectacle about it, to the point where my girlfriend was a bit nervous about him getting physical.â€
He said he immediately stopped drumming after that, and left the apartment. Her text — as shown above — came three hours later.
At this point, you start to question why our narrator keeps obliging without question.
Look at that timestamp. For heaven’s sake mate, it’s 5.30 in the evening. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.
We get the impression that this bloke is a bit too nice for his own good. Although when you’re in tight spaces and have to deal with your neighbours regularly, perhaps that’s justified.
He notes he would occasionally see the woman of the house — who we assume is the texter — and they would make polite, pleasant small-talk. The man was rarely seen.
Aaaaaaaaand there’s that passive-aggressive winky face again, requesting that he kindly stop drumming.
He explains that, while showing his parents the apartment, he let his dad lightly hit a few pads. That text immediately followed. Because these people are clearly crazy.
It gets worse.
“WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!†we find ourselves wanting to scream at him. “STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.â€
Finally, this guy has had enough. He flat-out stops replying, despite the incessant texts continuing.
Towards the end, things got a bit more serious. The drummer told the mother of the baby he had band practice, and needed to practice from 6-8pm. She agreed. Despite that, this happened:
Shortly after, he claims the man of the apartment came sprinting upstairs, kicked their door, and started screaming at them about the drumming.
“He started laying into me about how I can’t be doing what I was doing, and shrieked on and on. I explained to him my previous courtesies, and lamented about how I couldn’t even do this once.â€
And then: “He stormed down the stairs saying something about me regretting this.â€
After more passive-aggressive texting and a letter from the landlord telling him neighbours had complained about the “noise from the drum kitâ€, the drummer was depressed and stopped playing altogether.
Shortly after, the mother of the baby came up to apologise for her husband’s anger problems, but threatened to involve the police. Over the noise of the drumming. No really.
Long story short — this poor bloke now has no idea what to do. He’s taken to social media for advice, and received a variety of responses.
Some told him to show the messages to management. Others urged him to film all future incidents and take legal actions. One simply said to “have obnoxiously loud sex with your girlfriend late at night†as an act of revenge.
Regardless, one thing is for certain. This, kids, is a textbook case in why you should never get too friendly with your neighbours.
The consequences can be mighty severe.