Andrew Garner (L) and Shannon Garner (second from left), with Justin Worthy, Jon Cole (centre) and their surrogate child Elsie. Sereena (second from right) was the egg donor — her husband is the couple’s best friend.

The 36-year-old has two children of her own — Jaxon, seven, and Keira, five, — but was also a surrogate for Sydney couple Justin Worthy and Jon Cole. She gave birth to their daughter Elsie, now 20 months, in 2014.

Shannon and her husband Andrew, from Coffs Harbour in NSW, met Jon and Justin through a mutual friend, who said the couple’s attempts to adopt and foster a child had been unsuccessful.

“I know the joy and love that my children bring Andrew and I, and knowing that other couples can’t have that just breaks my heart,” said Shannon, who has just released a book about her experience, Labour of Love.

“I’ve had two good births and two good pregnancies, so I thought I could help a couple in need,” she told news.com.au.

Shannon emailed Jon and Justin out of the blue and after lots of back and forth — “we both wanted to check the other couple wasn’t crazy” — they met up for a long lunch and laid everything on the table.

“We both had to be brutally honest. They wanted to know why we were offering to do this, and we had lots of questions about what sort of future the child would have,” she said.

“We walked away from that lunch and said ‘Alright then, let’s get this going. Let’s put the wheels in motion’.”

A close friend of Jon and Justin’s donated some of her eggs, which were fertilised with Jon’s sperm. The embryo’s were frozen for four months to ensure they were safe, then one was inserted inside Shannon. “It only took about seven minutes,” she said.

Jon Cole (L), Shannon Garner (C) and Justin Worthy (R) pictured during Shannon’s pregnancy.Source:Supplied

Eight days later, Shannon was pregnant.

“We were over the moon,” she said, “but suddenly I felt this huge sense of responsibility. I realised the gravity of what I was doing. I thought ‘OK, I’m carrying a child for someone else now’. It was so different from carrying a child for yourself.

“No one wants to go down the path of miscarriage and having to ring up and say ‘Oh I’m so sorry, this has just happened’, after all they’d hoped for. You just want it to go smoothly.”

Nine months later, Jon and Justin’s daughter Elsie was born. Shannon didn’t hold her - Elsie was immediately passed on to her two dads, to immediately initiate skin-to-skin contact.

Shannon asked other surrogates what kind of connection she could expect to feel towards the baby she had carried. They all said the maternal instinct never kicked in.

“It was really like being a babysitter. She just felt like a little friend I was caring for,” Shannon said.

“When I saw her I didn’t have those feelings of ‘That’s my child’, or ‘That’s the baby I’ve nurtured, I should be with her’. It was always a gift for Jon and Justin.

“I just kept saying to myself ‘She doesn’t really have any other way to get here, unless someone offers to grow her for the boys’. That was my philosophy.”

Before Elsie was even conceived, both couples had two long sessions with a counsellor to help map out every possible problem that could arise. They drew up a non-legally binding document detailing how Elsie would be raised.

“She brought up issues that we didn’t even think about,” Shannon said, “like taking photos of Elsie and whether I could put them on Facebook. What religion would she have, the school they would send her too, how she would be disciplined and vaccinations.”

They also agreed on how often Shannon and Andrew would see Elsie, Jon and Justin. The couples wanted to be in each others lives, but not feel like they were obligated to maintain constant contact.“We agreed on twice a year,” she said.

Andrew and Shannon Garner. Picture: Toby ZernaSource:News Corp Australia

Women’s bodies often experience intense trauma after giving birth. Many develop stretch marks, loose skin, incontinence issues and their hormones become unbalanced. Experiencing these changes without the “reward” of a child seems like a superhuman act of generosity.

Shannon says she wouldn’t have agreed to be a surrogate if she hadn’t had a positive experience with her first two children.

“I’m lucky that I don’t get stretch marks and my body seems to bounce back pretty well,” she said.

“I do like being pregnant and it sounds crazy but I don’t mind giving birth. I knew I could do this and it might not leave a mark.

“I can notice the toll that the third pregnancy did take on my body. It’s not without its sacrifices. But you know if you’re going to be a surrogate and you’ve already given birth, you know what you’re putting your body up for.”

Sally Obermeder will have her second child through an American surrogate. Picture: Belinda RollandSource:News Corp Australia

Around 312,000 babies are born in Australia every year, but only about 20 of those are born via a surrogate.

Commercial surrogacy — where the birth mother is paid between $30,000 and $50,000 — is illegal in Australia but allowed in the US.

Only altruistic surrogacy is accepted here, which means the surrogate is reimbursed for all medical expenses and incidentals, such as maternity clothes and pregnancy vitamins.

The laws are different in each state, but most Australian surrogates must be over 25 years old and already have had a child of their own.

Australian surrogacy laws are back in the spotlight this week, after Channel Seven presenter and breast cancer survivor Sally Obermeder revealed that she has found an American surrogate, who was currently pregnant with Obermeder’s second child.

The Daily Edition host, 42, questioned Australia’s altruistic-only surrogacy policy.

“There are a lot of people in Australia who want to have babies through surrogacy,” she told Seven’s Sunday Night program.

“Altruistic surrogacy is a lovely idea but there are not women in Australia coming out of the woodwork wanting to do it.

“How do you even repay someone? Like a bottle of perfume just doesn’t cut it. The gift, I mean, it is priceless,” she said.

Justin Worthy and Jon Cole with their daughter Elsie, 20 months. Picture: Toby ZernaSource:News Corp Australia

Shannon agrees with Obermeder, and has echoed calls from surrogacy advocates to introduce commercial surrogacy in Australia.

“Having gone through the process, I do see merit in a compensation figure of $10,000, and I know lots of lobby groups in Australia are campaigning for that fee,” she said.

“I feel uncomfortable with the amount the women in America are getting ... $40,000 is too much money. We’re not talking about making a profit here. We’re covering incidentals that might arise.

“Andrew and I are not in debt from the surrogacy, but we certainly spent money on the surrogacy.”

But despite the toll on her body and the cost, Shannon is about to do this all over again. Justin and Jon want to give Elsie a sibling and Shannon has agreed to be the surrogate. This time, the embryo will be created with Justin’s sperm, so both men will be able to be biological fathers.

“I see her with my kids and the way she interacts with them and I think she’d love a brother or a sister,” Shannon said.

“I know there’s a long path ahead and I’m praying I don’t get morning sickness like I did with Elsie, but if that does happen, that’s just part of what I’m dealt and it’s another opportunity for growth for me.

“I think (pregnancy) is an amazing experience and if I can help someone, why not do it? I want to be kind, I want to give back and I think it’s a good opportunity for my children to see how you can be kind and accepting of other people.”

Labour of Love by Shannon Garner is currently available through Simon and Schuster for $14.99

rebecca.sullivan@news.com.au