Angie and Yvie get in on the Real Housewives drama.

Real Housewives reunion

Real Housewives of Melbourne: Not for everyone. Picture by Martin PhilbeySource:Foxtel

Like caviar or La Mascara, The Real Housewives of Melbourne have always been an acquired taste, and some households are more excited at the prospect of sitting down to watch the season three reunion than others. Jackson family dad Grant would rather have teeth pulled:

It’ll all be over soon, Grant.Source:Foxtel

... while Wayne and Tom are in heaven. “Ahh, margaritas and Real Housewives of Melbourne, it’s the perfect Sunday.” PREACH, FELLAS.

Sunday night goals.Source:Foxtel

As soon as the reunion’s host Alex Perry appears on screen, Anastasia’s off and running (well, sitting):

“Has anyone ever told you how f**king ridiculous you look with sunglasses on your head?” she screams at the television. We think someone may have mentioned it, Anastasia.

The households watch Real Housewife Lydia’s contentious relationship with her housekeeper and ‘housefriend’ Johanna. As Lydia’s shown sitting in the back seat of her car, ordering Johanna where to drive her, Lee knows what she’d do:

“Oh, I’d take her somewhere and just push her out of the car: ‘Walk, b*tch.’’

One of Lydia’s dodgiest moments from the season — when she recounts ordering Johanna about by saying ‘chung chung, not ching ching’ — doesn’t go down well with anybody.

Zina and Vivian are not having it.Source:Foxtel

“It’s not even funny, I don’t know why she’s laughing,” says Wayne.

“She should be ashamed of herself.”

As Janet spits her now infamous line to Lydia — ‘I’m asking you a question, ya DUMB FAT B*TCH’ — the households reel. The men of the Jackson house have had enough, though.

“There’s kids dying in Ethiopia and we’re watching this s**t,” says Corey.

“What, you’d rather watch kids dying in Ethiopia? You’re f**king slack.”

Q&A

Duncan Storrar asked a question that got the nation talking.Source:Supplied

The households watch the much-discussed moment from last week’s show when audience member Duncan Storrar — introducing himself as a man of limited means, given his disability and lack of education — asked how the government’s budget would help people like him.

“That would’ve taken a lot of balls for him, with his education, to speak up like that,” says Grant Jackson, clearly impressed.

“This is what I love about the ABC,” says Kerry Siberry. “They give a voice to people who don’t have a voice anywhere else.”

As Assistant Treasurer Kelly O’Dwyer responds to Duncan’s question by telling him the issue at stake is the need to ‘grow the pie’, the households voice their frustration.

“Don’t talk to him about a pie,” says Isabelle Sibery. “Talk to him like a normal person!”

“She’s not answering the question,” says Keith.

“Do they ever?” asks Lee.

“She didn’t even listen to him,” says Zina. “She didn’t acknowledge his struggle, his anxiety…”

“Their responses just make me so angry.”

As Q&A wraps up, Anastasia’s furious:

Anastasia: Always good for a rant.Source:Foxtel

“At the end of the day, they’re gonna do what they wanna do, and they do not give a s**t about the poor people. All they care about is going to their rich arse parties, and the theatre and the ballet. F**king losers. F**king losers.”

Eurovision

DAMI WUZ ROBBED. Picture: Michael Campanella/GettySource:Getty Images

Sitting down to watch Sunday’s ceremony, Adam admits he’s never actually watched a Eurovison Song Contest.

“What? It’s the best that Europe has to offer!” Symon tells him.

Within minutes, he’s reached his verdict:

Adam, seeing things that cannot be unseen.Source:Foxtel

“It’s the weirdest Europe has to offer.”

As each country’s contestant takes to the stage, the households are united in their quest to mispronounce Azerbaijan:

“As-er-badge-and,” says Keith.

“Aserbalabalan,” Yvie mutters.

“Asia-vor-JUN-da,” Di announces, with utterly misplaced confidence.

None of the households are too thrilled as Ukraine snatch victory from Our Dami’s grasp at the very last minute — the winning entry has few fans here on Gogglebox.

“It’s like she’s in pain and she’s singing for some medication,” says Tracey Delpechitra of the brooding wartime ballad.

Eurovision virgin Adam, so nonplussed earlier, is suddenly very invested in the competition, flipping over a footstool and demanding we ‘boycott’ when the winner is announced. Come on mate, we only just got into the bloody thing.

OH THE HUMANITYSource:Foxtel

Gogglebox screens on Wednesdays at 7:30pm on Foxtel’s Lifestyle Channel, then 8:30pm Thursdays on TEN.