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Posted: 2016-05-13 12:00:00

From Russia with love: Is Sergey Lazarev going to kill Dami’s Eurovision dream? Picture: AFP/ JONATHAN NACKSTRAND

AUSTRALIA’S Dami Im has silenced the haters with her powerhouse vocals securing her a coveted slot in the Eurovision Grand Final.

Europe loved her enough to vote her ahead of the likes of Ireland, Switzerland and Norway, all booted out of the second semi-final Im blitzed.

Now Im and her song Sound of Silence will come against the big guns in the Grand Final.

And those chosen countries voted in are heavily skewed towards Eastern Europe, which may work against her as history shows Eurovision voting can get political. But if Eurovision history tells us anything, you can never really predict what people will vote for.

The 26 songs in the Grand Final are unfortunately less wacky and less, well, Eurovision, than previous years. With the competition now being screened in the US and China, and an Asian expansion next year, people seem to be taking it very seriously. Pah!

Here’s your guide to Im’s best, and worst, competition on her path to glittery Eurovision glory.

Russia's Sergey Lazarev does some digital work in his performance. Picture: AFP

Russia's Sergey Lazarev does some digital work in his performance. Picture: AFPSource:AFP

RUSSIA

Sergey Lazarev: You Are the Only One

Those in the know, and bookmakers, believe this is one to beat. It certainly sounds like a classic Eurovision song — pounding electronic beats with an ultra-Russian chorus. Sergey will perform it with a whole lot of hi-tech computer graphic whizbangery behind him, something that got last year’s winner Mans Zemerlow across the line; Russia came second last year so why not go with what works. You’ll be impressed Sergey having wings at one minute, then climbing a digital wall before seemingly whizzing through space. Of course if Russia wins there is the quandary — how does a country with laws against homosexuality play host to the world’s gayest singing competition? Last year the Russian entrant was booed during their performance, although Lazarev has stated he is more open minded than his prime minister.

Eurovision moment: just when you think the song’s over prepare for the mandatory key change for an epic finale.

Ukraine's Jamala isn’t exactly getting the party started lyrically. Picture: AFP

Ukraine's Jamala isn’t exactly getting the party started lyrically. Picture: AFPSource:AFP

UKRAINE

Jamala: 1944

Are you ready to party! 1944 is about Joseph Stalin deporting the Crimean Tatars in 1944, including Jamala’s great grandfather. The song’s chorus, in Crimean Tatar language, are words her great grandmother said that translate as “I couldn’t spend my youth there because you took away my peace.” Elsewhere she sings, in English, “when strangers are coming they come to your house, they kill you all and say ‘We’re not guilty’.” So, yeah, good times. But at least it’s not another love song. 1944 has caused controversy with some Russians believing it has been included to embarrass them. Musically, if you didn’t listen to the lyrics, you’d just think it was a bit of a downbeat dance track ala Lorde.

Eurovision moment: Jamala’s got a huge voice and naturally plenty of emotion to draw on, she nearly broke into tears in rehearsal.

Amir of France knows how to work the Eurovision cameras. AFP

Amir of France knows how to work the Eurovision cameras. AFPSource:AFP

FRANCE

Amir: J’ai cherche

Sung in French and English, this continues the Avicii meets Mumford & Sons dance/folk vibe of the last few years. The English translation is “I have been looking for”. It has a catchy hook, but it’s a little forgettable. That has never been a huge hurdle at Eurovision however. And Amir has mastered that smiling-while-singing thing that TV loves. It’s harder than it looks. Try it at home.

Eurovision moment: most songs are in English this year, so when Amir sings in French it’s a nice point of difference.

Sweden's Frans Jeppsson Wall is a veteran at age 17. Picture: Jonas Ekstromer/TT via AP

Sweden's Frans Jeppsson Wall is a veteran at age 17. Picture: Jonas Ekstromer/TT via APSource:AP

SWEDEN

Frans: If I Were Sorry

He will have the home ground advantage, and at just 17, Frans is ballsy to take on the big stage. However he’s actually been releasing football-related songs in Sweden since he was six years of age, so he’s a seasoned performer before he’s even legal. Frans has got a divisive voice, but at least it’s not like one of the polished stage school kids we’re used to seeing on Eurovision.

Eurovision moment: there isn’t really one, it’s a surprisingly low-key song for this event. Maybe that’ll work in his favour.

Iveta Mukuchyan has one of the boldest costumes at this year’s Eurovision. Picture: AFP

Iveta Mukuchyan has one of the boldest costumes at this year’s Eurovision. Picture: AFPSource:AFP

ARMENIA

Iveta Mukuchyan: LoveWave

Short outfit, big notes. Iveta’s song ticks all the Eurovision boxes — the English is clunky (”the ground emotions set off all sirens”), she gets to wail throughout and there’s plenty of pyro and the wind machines get a pounding.

Eurovision moment: nice flash back to her musical culture in the chorus.

Ira Losco has a modern-sounding entry for Eurovision. Picture: AFP

Ira Losco has a modern-sounding entry for Eurovision. Picture: AFPSource:AFP

MALTA

Ira Losco: Walk on Water

Losco’s done this before, singing in Eurovision back in 2002 where she was only seven points away from winning. Walk on Water sounds like a pop song you’d hear on commercial radio right now — think Lorde meets Lady Gaga with a bit of Zara Larsson.

Eurovision moment: the gospel break down near the end with the mandatory skyscraper note.

Israel's Hovi Star has one of this year’s strongest voices. And fringes. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Israel's Hovi Star has one of this year’s strongest voices. And fringes. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

ISRAEL

Hovi Star: Made of Stars

Hovi Star has a great voice and a great backstory. Openly gay, he was the subject of homophobic abuse when promoting his song in Russia earlier this year, claiming his passport was ripped up by guards who laughed at his make-up and appearance. All that matters at Eurovision is that Star has an incredible voice and Made of Starsis a powerful piano-driven ballad. It must be added that he does have a mighty fringe that flicks and falls at all the right moments.

Eurovision moment: it all builds to a colossal crescendo, as power ballads often do, before stripping everything back for the intimate finale.

Italy's Francesca Michielin is one of many Eurovision contestants from reality TV. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Italy's Francesca Michielin is one of many Eurovision contestants from reality TV. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

ITALY

Francesca Michielin: No Degree of Separation

This is almost sung totally in Italian, with just the second chorus sung in English. It’s a cracking tune — a dramatic ballad and Francesca, who is 21, really belts it out. She won an Italian version of the X Factor where she sang the Doors, Adele and Led Zeppelin, so she’s no stranger to powerhouse performances. This could be a dark horse if people vote for good tunes sung passionately.

Eurovision moment: the quick diversion into English is a good party trick.

The Netherlands's Douwe Bob has a huge tattoo on his neck and chest. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

The Netherlands's Douwe Bob has a huge tattoo on his neck and chest. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

NETHERLANDS

Douwe Bob — Slow Down

Well this is unexpected: this song sounds like some John Denver country-tinged rollicking 70s soft rock number. Douwe, a tattooed, bisexual Dutch TV talent star, sings with an American accent in parts, which is a little odd.

Eurovision moment: there’s a guitar solo. You don’t get too many of them in Eurovision these days. And Bob has stopped the song after that solo in rehearsals to tell people in the crowd he loves them. In the strictly choreographed world of Eurovision now, that’s what passes for rock and roll spirit.

Belgium's Laura Tesoro is getting the party started at Eurovision 2016. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Belgium's Laura Tesoro is getting the party started at Eurovision 2016. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

BELGIUM

Laura Tesoro: What’s the Pressure?

What happens when you mix the bassline from Another One Bites the Dust with a bit of Uptown Funk and that Fleur East song Sax? A lawsuit, probably, but also this track. This is the year’s big party song, and fills the Guy Sebastian role as this year’s Bruno Mars moment. Tesoro is a 19 year old soap star and also featured on the Belgium version of The Voice. This could do really well — it’s not even slightly original, but originality is never an issue at Eurovision.

Eurovision moment: the disco vibes fire up in the last minute for bring it home.

The UK's Joe and Jake are actually in with a shot. Picture: Jonas Ekstromer/TT via AP

The UK's Joe and Jake are actually in with a shot. Picture: Jonas Ekstromer/TT via APSource:AP

UNITED KINGDOM

Joe and Jake: You’re Not Alone

Hang on, for the first time in years the UK have half a chance with a decent song. Joe and Jake formed a duo after being separate contestants on The Voice. Yes, they’re like a downsized One Direction (Two Direction?) and this song sounds like boy band Coldplay. The UK can suffer death by block (or Bloc) voting against them, but at least their song doesn’t suck this year.

Eurovision moment: anthemic Coldplay/U2 style chorus.

Zoe was discovered on a show called Kiddie Contest in Austria Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Zoe was discovered on a show called Kiddie Contest in Austria Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

AUSTRIA

Zoe: Loin d’ici

This translates as Far From Here and again, it’s actually a novelty to hear something not sung in English this year. Zoe’s 19, and her background includes an Austrian TV show called Kiddie Contest. That’s very literal. Hey, if we can’t vote for Australia, maybe through Austria a few votes.

Eurovision moment: in true Eurovision history, the big notes are saved for the end.

Justs tears his song Heartbeats a new one at Eurovision. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Justs tears his song Heartbeats a new one at Eurovision. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

LATVIA

Justs: Heartbeats

Dropping from the dancefloor to Eurovision, this is a club banger that’s also minimal enough to lets Justs soar vocally. And he does. If you like your dance songs with a bit of soul, Justs is your man.

Eurovision moment: Justs sounds like he’s about to bust his lung towards the end.

Michal Szpak is doing it for Poland this year. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Michal Szpak is doing it for Poland this year. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

POLAND

Michal Szpak: Colour of Your Life

Michal looks like the D-bag from Nickelback with a porn mo and dressed like Sgt Pepper in what looks like a string vest. Vocally he’s closer to Yoko Ono than John Lennon unfortunately for all of us.

Eurovision moment: classic Eurovision keychange at the end.

Croatia's Nina Kraljic is a hard to miss on stage. Picture: AFP

Croatia's Nina Kraljic is a hard to miss on stage. Picture: AFPSource:AFP

CROATIA

Nina Kraljic: Lighthouse

Picture Enya mixed with Britney Spears. Bless her, Nina goes for those big notes but, well, imagine Britney Spears singing live.

Eurovision moment: she’s wearing a dress that looks like she could set up tent on stage.

We’re not sure what’s on Jamie-Lee’s head either. But, Eurovision. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

We’re not sure what’s on Jamie-Lee’s head either. But, Eurovision. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

GERMANY

Jamie-Lee Kriewitz: Ghost

She is the girl wearing a hat which looks like Hello Kitty having an orgy in a forest on her head. That helps disguise a fairly dull rewrite of that Ryan Tedder/Halo vibe. This was actually her winner’s single when she triumphed at The Voice in Germany last year — it peaked at No. 11 in her homeland. That’s actually a great chart performance for anyone who’s come off any version of The Voice.

Eurovision moment: it’s all about the headwear.

Here’s Minus One doing it for Cyprus. Picture: AP/Martin Meissner

Here’s Minus One doing it for Cyprus. Picture: AP/Martin MeissnerSource:AP

CYPRUS

Minus One: Alter Ego

Not many rock bands get through Eurovision. Minus One mix guitars with dance beats admittedly, but it’s nice seeing some instruments on the stage. Singer Francois Micheletto is a bald, tattooed rocker

Eurovision moment: Micheletto does a wolf howl at one point, the closest you’ll get to wolf action after naked Belarus singer Ivan was cruelly booted.

The Eurovision Grand Final airs live on SBS at 5am Sunday, repeated at 7.30pm Sunday night.

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