It’s lively on the Daltons’ couch this week.

In the news

Grant Hackett’s aeroplane mishap draws a confused response from some households: “Is he the gay one?” “No, that’s Ian Thorpe” — and it’s a similar story for Johnny Depp and Amanda Heard’s bizarre apology video, which several households remained convinced is a fake.

A brief TV appearance by Christopher Pyne draws a lot of comments - many of which we can’t republish here for fear he’d sue - but Tom and Wayne do suggest he would’ve made a great guest star on Are You Being Served back in the day.

Prince

The Goggleboxers reel at music icon Prince’s death, which filled the evening news last Friday. Sky News plays highlights the 57-year-old’s incredible career, including one particular song he wrote for another act that gets a universal thumbs down: The Bangles classic (CLASSIC) Manic Monday.

Tom doesn’t like The Bangles HOW DARE HESource:Foxtel

“He wrote it 20-something years ago and we’re still hearing the sh**ty song,” says Tom. The other households agree: “Ugh, we can leave that one behind.”

No. No. NO NO NO.

Tom reflects on what the legend’s untimely death means for music: “We’ve lost the King, the Queen, now the Prince.”

Wait. Michael Jackson’s the King, but who’s the Queen? Whitney Houston, according to Tom. Partner Wayne’s not too convinced.

“Pfft, please, she’s not the f**king queen! She was the scullery maid.”

Michelle Bridges’ Australian Story

Fitness queen Michelle Bridges: She’s probably doing butt clenches through this whole interview.Source:Foxtel

Poor Michelle stumbled at the first hurdle, with several households questioning why she wound up as a subject for this popular ABC doco series in the first place.

“Michelle Bridges? I didn’t think she’d be worthy of Australian Story,” says Kate Dalton.

“She DOESN’T deserve it. But I STILL wanna see it,” is Angie’s pre-show verdict.

There’s a stunned silence when Bridges utters the now immortal line, “I can tell you now, I’m yet to have met someone who is morbidly obese and happy.”

Bridges ain’t goin down well in this household.Source:Foxtel

After a beat, Yvie breaks the silence.

“…..What an arsehole.”

Others households are Team Michelle — Adam and Symon think it’s a “pretty fair statement,” while Tom declares that “the only time a fat person’s happy is when they’ve got a cheesecake and a straw.”

Considering he’s delivering this harsh critique to his own — ahem — curvy partner Wayne, we’ll assume he’s sleeping on the couch tonight.

Back on Australian Story, Bridges’ colleague-turned-babydaddy Commando Steve describes how they fell in love on the set of The Biggest Loser: “We could sit for minutes … hours ... and just talk,” he says.

Commando Steve: He and Michelle Bridges can talk for literally minutes at a time.Source:Foxtel

“We spoke with WORDS, for MINUTES,” scoffs Yvie.

“I wonder what they talked about?” ask the Silberys. “Calories … workouts … calories …”

When the program announces that Bridges’ estimated wealth is $53 million, Anastasia heckles the screen: “If it wasn’t for us fat people you’d be broke!”

You tell ‘em Anastasia.Source:Foxtel

But Australian Story seems to have softened Bridges’ image for Tom, who seems quite touched by her one-woman war against obesity.

“I think she might be a bit genuine. I think she cares about the fatties,” he says, sipping his cocktail. Wayne’s not so convinced.

“Oh god, stop drinking.”

Why does Tom always have the best cocktails?Source:Foxtel

Gogglebox screens on Wednesdays at 7:30pm on Foxtel’s Lifestyle Channel, then 8:30pm Thursdays on TEN.