Rowena Murray is 39 and fulfilled by a successful career, wide social circle and rented home.

“My life is so busy, I don’t want to be commuting an hour and a half a day, I can’t wrap my head around that,” she told news.com.au. “I’d be more likely to buy an investment property in regional Victoria that I can have tucked away for retirement.”

The writer and digital marketer spends her evenings at pilates and kickboxing, she feeds her neighbours’ dogs when they’re away and she’s written a social media sex education book called For Foxes’ Sake. She has friends from all walks of life, including a best mate who’s 20 years older.

“I’m almost never home, I literally don’t even watch TV,” she said. “I do date and it’s great to have that companionship, someone to have a glass of wine with, but I’m so happy and fulfilled. I’m not just busy for the sake of being busy.”

Rowena’s experience is increasingly typical, in a world where more of us are putting off marriage and kids, and divorce rates remain high. And research shows single people are now among the most crucial members of our society.

They are more likely to volunteer in caring roles than those with young families; they may contribute more taxes through high-earning jobs and they create wide social circles.

Aimee Croxon says loneliness isn’t just for single people.

In this post-Sex And The City society, single people are not only doing too well for our pity, they are to be envied.

Rowena is looking forward to writing another book and travelling rather than settling down and having children. “If I’ve not wanted it that badly by now, why would I put pressure on myself?” she asked. “I’m interested in continuing to hit milestones.”

Between 1980 and 2011, the number of one-person households worldwide more than doubled, from around 118 million to 277 million, and it will rise to 334 million by 2020, according to Euromonitor International.

“Individuals, not couples or clans or other social groups, are fast becoming the fundamental units of society,” wrote Bella DePaul, a University of California scientist studying the social psychology of singles, on Nautilus this week.

While participants in clinical studies routinely judged married people as kinder, more loyal, and more caring — and singles as shyer, lonelier, and more selfish — Ms DePaul found the reverse is true. “In every measure, single people as a group spend more time connecting with and helping others than their married counterparts.”

Despite the evidence that single people give back more, the ideal of the nuclear family is remains remarkably persistent.

Aimee Croxon, from Dubbo, says that at almost 29, most of her peers are settling down — but she’s not worried. “I work in tourism marketing, and on the side, I’m studying for a law degree,” she told news.com.au. “I get up at 6am to study before work. In the evenings, I work out and see friends. I have great friends, a great career and I travel a lot.

“I’m dating but I don’t want to settle down just for the sake of being in a relationship, I want the right person. If it doesn’t happen in the next five or 10 years, or ever, I’m OK with that.”

Aimee doesn’t see being single as something that would make you feel alone. “Everyone suffers from loneliness,” she said. “I have a network and great relationships.”

Dan Thomas, 30, says he is too focused on his business to want to meet someone.

A study in the journal Social Science & Medicine found that never-married childless women regularly participated in social groups and were more likely to volunteer than those who were or had previously been married.

And it’s not just women. When Dan Thomas, 30, was dumped by a girlfriend of five years, he decided not to let misery overcome him. The Sydneysider told news.com.au he has no interest in meeting anyone for at least a few years because he needs to focus on his Image Doctor consultancy business.

“In order for your relationship to be as effective and strong as possible, both the man and woman have to be happy with their own career, personal life and independent happiness,” he said.

Daniel Battaglia, 33, agrees. “I just went travelling to New York, Rome, The Hague and London from about October 2014 to March 2015 whilst running my online business, Parking Made Easy,” he told news.com.au. “It was very liberating, with freedom to do what I chose at the spur of the moment to have fun.

“It wasn’t very lonely because I stayed in touch with family and friends online and there’s always new people to meet as a traveller. I have had a few fun flings with girls and catch up with mates for a beer. If I had a wife or family I could never had taken the risks to travel and launch my start-up.”

As for people who have been through marriage, children and divorce, remarrying is often a low priority. Janet Bailey, 43, from Brisbane, told news.com.au she has “no desire to repartner”, five years after her divorce.

“I miss the physical side of a relationship, but I am never lonely. I’m the primary carer of my three kids, aged six, eight and 12. Life is busy with all their activities and school. I have my own interior design business, which I’ve had for 23 years. I love my work. I get heaps of social interaction with my clients and I love meeting new people

“I have a close family all living nearby and a tight circle of long-term friends who with my family offer lots of support when I need it with the daily juggle of life and kids. I own two houses outright and am very happy with life.

“The traditional aspirations about relationships from last century don’t appeal to me anymore.”

emma.reynolds@news.com.au