Squadron Leader Catherine Humphries has spoken about her transgender journey. Picture: David May

Both have had exemplary careers, loving families and a promising future.

But both were carrying a huge secret, one which they were forced to keep or risk losing everything.

Now after years of keeping their true identity under wraps under strict Australian Defence Force policy, they can finally reveal their secret — both are transgender military women.

A reporter from SBS current affairs program The Feed has gained unprecedented access inside Defence to follow the journeys of RAAF Squadron Leader Humphries and Army Major Harding to reveal their intimate stories for the first time.

Squadron Leader Catherine Humphries has spoken about her transgender journey. Picture: David MaySource:SBS

Journalist Patrick Abboud told news.com.au the Australian military’s acceptance of transgender people may seem surprisingly quick, but the ADF had been forced to move with the times.

Abboud said the ADF had strict policies in place up until 2010 that did not allow transgender people to serve. This meant trans military personnel, such as RAAF squadron Humphries and Army Major Harding, were forced to keep their identity a secret.

But both officers were fighting another and bigger personal battle — keeping their secret from their families.

“They also both had families, wives, kids … there was so much at stake for both of them,” he said.

Squadron Leader Humphries is the first female in a combat role within RAAF, having served for 19 years.

Major Donna Harding says she kept her secret for fear of ‘jeopardising’ her job. Picture: David MaySource:SBS

But her biggest challenge was more personal.

“To my family, my kids, to my friends, to my colleagues, I was pretending to be a guy,” she tells The Feed, which returns for its 2016 season tonight on SBS2.

“It’s not that you feel that you’re trapped in the wrong body, it’s that your body is not right.”

She has since been deployed to Afghanistan on the frontline and will later this year redeploy to the Middle East.

“That’s a huge deal. The ban on women fighting in combat roles was only lifted for members already serving in 2013,” Abboud said.

“For new applicants the ban was only lifted just weeks ago. Squadron Leader Humphries has made it her mission to demonstrate that no matter what your gender identity, with the right training anyone can fight on the frontline.”

And while a culture of acceptance has been emerging, Squadron Leader Humphries tells The Feed not everyone has embraced her change.

“If I had to describe how my colleagues, my fellow officers have reacted to my transition, 80 per cent are ‘get on with the job’. Ten per cent are supportive. And 10 per cent have been outright hostile, including direct harassment and direct aggression,” she said.

“One of the things that hurts probably more so than others, is being referred to as an ‘it’.”

Like Squadron Leader Humphries, Canadian-born Major Harding has a long and successful career, with her own battles to face.

SBS’s The Feed has gained unprecedented access to the world of transgender women within the Australian Defence Force. Picture: David MaySource:SBS

Major Harding, who is a nursing officer, was deployed to Bougainville, Papua New Guinea, in 2001 and joined the regular Army 11 years ago having been in the reserves before that.

Her trans journey has been a long and difficult one, and one which made her question everything.

“When you can’t be authentic at work, when you can’t be authentic in your life,” she tells The Feed.

“You feel trapped. You know it takes an awful lot of energy to hide things but I couldn’t tell anybody. I couldn’t, I couldn’t … jeopardise my job.

“The number of times I would have loved to have just driven into that tree, on the side of the highway or turned into that oncoming truck, I’ve lost count of. I was afraid that someone would pick that something was wrong, that someone had spotted what I was trying very hard to keep private.”

Being granted behind-the-scenes access allowed Abboud to discover these officers were not alone — their stories were just the tip of the iceberg.

“There are at least 15 transgender members currently serving in Defence in Australia right now,” he said.

Abboud was told there’s probably many more just waiting for the right time to express their true gender identity.

Major Harding is a nursing officer in the Australian Army.Source:SBS

And while the story of high-profile ADF group captain Catherine McGregor has no doubt helped to raise the profile of transgender military personnel, Abboud said trans officers still had a long journey ahead of them.

“I think on the surface there is a genuine investment from senior defence officials to change the traditionally very male dominated culture of defence to make it more diverse, inclusive and accepting of LGBTQI employees,” he said.

“But changing a culture that has been entrenched for more than 50 years is no easy feat, although there are now policies in place, there’s a long road to full acceptance I think culturally.”

Tune into The Feed on SBS2 at 7.30pm for the full story.

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