There’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

If the answer is yes, it’s likely you’re dealing with a narcissist.

“Extreme narcissists” make up five per cent of the world’s population, and they depend on making others look like losers to feel like winners. They have no empathy, won’t admit mistakes and will make you feel ignored and insignificant to ensure they come out on top.

Psychotherapist Dr Joseph Burgo, author of The Narcissist You Know, says we need to be able to identify and manage the narcissists in our lives.

He told news.com.au about the eight types to look out for. If you don’t recognise one from your social circle, you might want to take a good hard look in the mirror.

1. THE BULLYING NARCISSIST

This is the classic type, and establishes the winner/loser framework that characterises the narcissistic world-view. In fact, all bullies are narcissists, according to Dr Burgo.

“Whether it’s at school, in sports or in a social situation, they prove themselves winners by identifying someone else to persecute,” he says. “They build up their status by humiliating others.”

Unfortunately, challenging a bully who’s making your life a misery is likely to escalate the battle, since they may take it as a personal assault and react in kind. It may be wiser to humour them or massage their ego.

“That sounds cowardly,” says Dr Burgo, “but these people are relentless.”

The brilliant Steve Jobs was said to shoot down other people’s ideas, later bringing them up as his own.Source:Supplied

2. THE KNOW-IT-ALL NARCISSIST

The most common type, the know-it-all, is always giving their opinion, interrupting and making the conversation about them. “It’s the person at work who has to be the smartest, has to have it his way and won’t compromise,” says Dr Burgo.

Their way of winning is knowing better. That might not be intellectual, but could be about sophistication or coolness: having the inside track on the best music, art galleries or fashion.

The best tactic here is to acknowledge their contribution, and then gently introduce other ideas, modelling open-mindedness. Try a phrase such as: “That’s an interesting point, and here’s another one.”

Irritatingly, narcissists can often be brilliant and successful, using their self-centredness to achieve great things. “It does help but it also hurts,” warns Dr Burgo. “They are often charismatic and inspire loyalty, but over time, because they don’t listen or work well as a team, it comes back on them.”

3. THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS NARCISSIST

Similar to the know-it-all, but with more moralistic qualities, the self-righteous narcissist thinks they are superior to you. Characteristics include indignation, blame and contempt.

We often see this in holier-than-thou members of religious communities, and in the behaviour of “wellness warriors” showing off their fitness and healthy lifestyle on social media. This self-promotion can inspire devotion and admiration, involving the exploitation of their followers and fans.

Devout, entitled and willing to compare himself to Napoleon and Alexander the Great, Donald Trump has been labelled a narcissist by CNN, The Atlantic, Esquire, The Huffington Post and in a Time article by The Narcissist Next Door author Jeffrey Kluger.

Parents may try to prove themselves winners through their child.

4. THE NARCISSISTIC PARENT

We all know this type of mother or father: the one who stands on the sidelines shouting at the ref during their kid’s footy match, or who boasts about their child’s achievements at every opportunity.

These ultra-competitive mums and dads hope to prove themselves winners through their children, becoming over-involved in ensuring their kids’ have the best grades, musical ability and social status.

There’s also a more toxic side, when parents build themselves up by putting their child down, painting their offspring as losers to give themselves the edge. In these cases, grown-up children need to protect themselves with clear limits, Dr Burgo says.

“Some people have broken contact with their parents forever, others set limits such as one call a month and visits on birthdays and Christmas — bearing in mind narcissists don’t like limits.”

5. THE SEDUCTIVE NARCISSIST

The seducer’s strategy is to build you up to feel like you are the winner, and then bask in your reflected glory. They’re easy to fall for, making you feel beautiful and fascinating, so you’ll feel the same about them in return.

“Their admiration lasts as long as yours,” says Dr Burgo. “If you criticise or question them, you’ll go from a pedestal to a trashing. They may later feel contrite and start the cycle again.”

This type of narcissist tends to be a serial romantic, often truly believing they are in love each time, until reality hits. Dating apps are the perfect tool for the seductive narcissist. There’s always somebody better a few swipes away.

Humility and scepticism are your best assets for dealing with them.

6. THE VINDICTIVE NARCISSIST

The vindictive narcissist often emerges when relationships end, determined to punish the person who has hurt them. Dr Burgo says he’s received many emails from people who recognise this type in an ex-spouse who has been dragging them through the divorce courts for years.

This narcissist takes insults very personally, even if they weren’t intended, so beware of crossing or challenging them. They may spend the rest of their lives trying to get back at you.

Extreme narcissists create and constantly defend a false self-image, and when the vindictive feel their truth is under threat, they will attack. They often show up in politics, determined to crush their enemies at all costs.

Don’t become a target. If you do, take the high ground, stay civil and remain calm.

Narcissists are terrified of being exposed as frauds.

7. THE GRANDIOSE NARCISSIST

All narcissists are grandiose to some degree. They may talk about themselves in the same breath as Jesus Christ or Nelson Mandela, and believe the world revolves around them.

This can manifest as paranoia, with many grandiose narcissists suspecting they are being followed, persecuted or eavesdropped upon.

They enjoy having fans and groupies, and often use people who admire them to feel good, with many celebrities, actors and rock stars falling into this category.

Secretly however, these ostensibly confident characters are fighting rock-bottom self-esteem, terrified of being exposed as frauds.

8. THE ADDICTED NARCISSIST

You may not immediately see the grandiosity in a drug addict, but Dr Burgo says Alcoholics Anonymous have long understood it as a hidden impediment to recovery.

“When we are high, we feel great, and many users are addicted to that sensation,” he adds.

Addicts are often noted for the ruthlessness with which they treat people, since nothing matters except their habit. Michael Jackson is a typical example in terms of his dependence on drugs, plastic surgery and even performing.

There is an element of shame that disguises the narcissism here, but Dr Burgo says all narcissists struggle with profound shame and fear, and their personality is built around constant flight from a sense of ugliness and inner defect, even if this is often subconscious.

... AND YOU

If you’re passing judgment right now, be warned: failing to empathise means you’re acting like a narcissist.

Even if you aren’t an extreme case, you may well possess many of the traits, with our society becoming increasingly narcissistic over the past 70 years, according to Dr Burgo.

“During the Depression and World War II, humility and self-sacrifice were the most valued characteristics,” he says. “When the Baby Boomers came along, that was replaced by authenticity and fulfilment. Despite the humanitarian rhetoric of the sixties, it was about doing your own thing.

“We revere celebrities as the ultimate winners, and we want to be them or be affiliated with them. Now we have social media, which gives us the opportunity to be a celebrity in our own right.”

It’s important we look at our behaviour and identify where our occasional bouts of narcissism may be fuelling discord with friends, family and colleagues. Dr Burgo says we can guard against such tendencies by making an effort to have empathy, taking an interest in other people and causes.

If you care about something outside of yourself, you may escape the narcissism trap that’s everywhere in our lifestyle-curating, selfie-obsessed modern lives.

Read more articles by Dr Joseph Burgo on his blog, After Psychotherapy, or order The Narcissist You Know on Amazon.