“And one in five grandmothers changed jobs just so they could fulfil their childcare responsibilities,” says Hamilton.

More grandmothers are working. Between 2010 and 2020, women aged between 60 and 69 accounted for the largest increases for female labour force participation rates; and women aged between 70 and 74 weren’t far behind.

“I was also the recipient of generosity and so I want to pass it on. Pay it forward.”

Kaileen Pearson says: “I had to prioritise based on my circumstances and values. I particularly enjoy my grandchildren. My grandmother, a widow, helped care for me so Mum could go back to work. My mother (and with Dad a bit) helped care for my children once or twice a week at least while I was returning to university and working part-time, even though my mother was busy in retirement with volunteer counselling, and many hobbies and caring for my Dad, who had a stroke.

“I appreciated her help and friendship so much. Also, I liked that particularly [my daughter] Mandy was able to have a lovely bond with my mother, a woman of quiet strength,” says Pearson.

“When Mandy became pregnant I knew I didn’t want to miss being able to be a supportive mother and grandmother. Even if my career would slow down, or I couldn’t achieve everything I wanted. I made sure I had one day off a week and would travel down to her place after work and stay that night and the next day, right from the time her first baby was born.”

Mandy Pearson says both her parents cut back on work, her mother to spend more time with her two grandchildren, Sebastian, 10, and Morgan, eight.

“My mum has done a four-day week the whole time to be around for me on Fridays,” says Mandy.

Kaileen also recognised helping with childcare would cut down on childcare costs.

“Structures in society need to improve, like good, low cost child-care, less discrimination in the workforce, equal pay, paternal leave or grandparent leave, choices for mothers (and fathers) to stay home or not without criticism,” she says.

“I have strong values about the need for children to have supportive adults in their lives and my need to be part of their lives. It’s a balancing act with conflicting drives and values, career or family – it always has been.”

Mandy, of Melbourne’s Viewbank, is a digital marketer and says without the help of her mother, she would have had to work less. Her children have diverse learning needs and Kaileen’s love and support made all the difference.

The role of grandparents is incredibly precious, says executive director of parenting lobby group The Parenthood Georgie Dent.

“Generations of families have benefited from the love, help, affection and babysitting from grandparents, but that is very different to needing grandparents to step up as formal care-givers to enable parents to work because the cost of early learning and care is unaffordable.”

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Anne Pike, 67, of Sydney’s inner west, decided to move on from her career as a gynaecologist in order to help with her grandchildren in Orange. She says when her registration came up to renew for another year, she ticked the box to say her medical career was over. And then she moved up to Orange to support her son and daughter-in-law in their medical careers.

“It was an abrupt change from working and having family and friends around to moving to a busy country town where you knew no one,” says Pike.

Now she has moved back to Sydney but still commutes to Orange as a visiting grandma five days a fortnight. She also visits another grandchild in Tintenbar on the NSW north coast on a more occasional basis, about once a month; and helps out with one in Sydney, two days a week.

“I don’t resent giving it up but it is also good to have a chance to develop another part of your life,” says Pike, who says she is free about one weekend a month.

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But it is not all grandmothers. Grandfathers are also involved in childcare, says Hamilton. Her research says grandparental input into the care of grandchildren shows familiar patterns of household work. Grandpas are much more likely to play in the garden or kick a ball. Grandmothers are much more likely to be left changing the nappies.

Emily Learned, Jeanette’s daughter-in-law, hadn’t planned on working - but when the offer of some part-time work came up, her mother-in-law insisted. Her own parents also do their bit.

“It means I can switch from mummy to work, and this refreshes me and makes me a better mother,” says the preschool teacher.

Kim Fraser-Rybinsky, 58, of Queanbeyan is a fulltime teacher and picks up her grandchild after daycare, which works because they are all going to the same home: grandma, grandpa Michael, mum Michaela and Kerwin, three. She stepped in to help not just because she loves having a grandchild but because she knew her daughter would struggle with the juggle of pick-ups.

“We are a family. It’s not an Australian tradition to have a multi-generational house but it works for us looking after Kerwin,” she says.

“We alternate, my husband drops off or picks up and we juggle,” she says.