Good morning and enjoy your long weekend (indoors).

1. Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the 2020 presidential race, leaving former vice-president Joe Biden the presumptive Democratic nominee. In essence, it means that presuming the 2020 presidential elections still go ahead in November, either Biden or a re-elected Trump will lead the free world. If you’re looking to reacquaint yourself with Biden, I humbly recommend this very good parody Twitter account, which captures his distinctive communication style almost too well.

2. The Morrison government’s wage subsidy bill passed into law last night, ensuring affected businesses receive $1,500 in relief for each fortnight they keep eligible workers on the books. It will critically exclude many of the country’s 1.2 million casual workers who have worked somewhere for less than 12 months, as well as workers on visas. While supporting the package, Labor warned the government risks blowing out the deficit to $1 trillion and saddling an entire generation with higher taxes to pay for it. But “never let the perfect be the enemy of the good,” leader Anthony Albanese said.

3. Boris Johnson appears to be recuperating, having not needed mechanical ventilation during his second night in intensive care. That’ll be a small sigh of relief for many as his government grapples with the power vacuum he has left.

4. Trump has threatened to defund the World Health Organisation (WHO) saying it seems to “err always on the side of China” even though “we fund it”. WHO was quick to fire back, urging politicians not to politicise a global health pandemic. No doubt it’s a little worried what he might do it, a move which would wipe 14% off its budget.

5. Foxconn, the largest iPhone maker in China has reopened, and it’s taking extreme lengths to stop the spread of coronavirus. Determined to meet the next iPhone launch date, Foxconn is producing 2 million surgical masks per day to be used by its workforce of over 1 million employees. Workers are barred from facing each other while eating, and have their temperature checked daily. You really can’t stand in the way of progress commerce.

6. Another day, another rideshare company struggling to do business. On Wednesday Uber became the latest player to redeploy its drivers as couriers, offering a delivery service in Melbourne with plans to roll out nationally next week. It follows almost identical moves by competitors Ola and 13cabs in the last two weeks, as demand for rides all but dries up.

7. In any crisis, there are winners and losers. In this one, Chris Hemsworth, Kayla Instines and their separate fitness empires appear to be the victors, as Australians rush to work out from home. Subscriptions to Hemsworth’s fitness and meal planning app Centr is up 300% alone. As an aside, I’m still waiting for Netflix to make this one.

8. That’s not to say the average punter can’t make a dime either. With global sharemarkets plummeting around 35% last month, Australians are investing like mad, with trading at record highs in some cases. Business Insider Australia followed the money to see exactly which companies and stocks we’re buying — and selling — right now.

9. Australia has a new tech unicorn and it’s called SafetyCulture. The software company has been newly valued at $1.3 billion after its latest funding round backed by former PM Malcolm Turnbull. While its founder is nonplussed on the achievement, early employees would be cheering — they were allowed to sell some equity in the company for a very tidy sum indeed.

10. Speaking of funding rounds, Australia’s neobanks have nearly all received some big investments this year as they seek to make a bang in 2020. On Wednesday 86400 pocketed a neat $34 million in its first-round raise, after rival Volt nabbed $70 million in its third round in January. Xinja meanwhile is a little further along again in courting investors, scooping up a whopping $433 million last month. All that cash in this market shows investor interest has not abated in the burgeoning banks.

Trump says he is going to “take a look” at pardoning Joe Exotic, after asking the Press Gallery whether they think he did or didn’t put out a hit on an animal rights activist. The lines between TV and reality have well and truly blurred.

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