But his death, coming just days after the suicide of designer Kate Spade, is at least as noteworthy for another reason: how powerfully it speaks to the discrepancy between what we see of people on the outside and what they're experiencing on the inside; between their public faces and their private realities; between their visible swagger and invisible pain. Parts unknown: That was true of Bourdain. That was true of Spade. That's true of every one of us.

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Bourdain's and Spade's deaths happened in a week when newly released government statistics revealed a staggering increase in suicides by Americans of more than 25 per cent from 1999 to 2016, when nearly 45,000 Americans took their own lives. Experts worry that this trajectory reflects a breakdown in social bonds, in community. It's unclear how or if Bourdain and Spade fit into that picture.

But they certainly reflect the faultiness of our assumptions, the deceptiveness of appearances and the complexities of the soul. On Friday morning, as I took call after call from friends who work in the restaurant and food industry, I again and again heard variations of this statement: "This is the last person I would have expected."

They were acquainted with Bourdain and knew him as the embodiment of wit, smarts and cool. I was acquainted with Bourdain and knew him to be the same way.

He wasn't just funny; he was fearless, to go by his words. "Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit," he wrote in Kitchen Confidential,  and that was gentle in comparison with how, in the same paragraph, he described vegans. He called them vegetarians'"Hezbollah-like splinter faction".

His attitude about eating was captured in another of his riffs. "Your body is not a temple," he said. "It's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride." He seemed to.

Many people wanted to be him, just as many wanted to be Spade.

Spade's image, as conveyed through her signature handbags and other designs, wove together threads of whimsy, optimism and merry mischief. She was color. She was brightness.

Bourdain's image, as conveyed through his epicurean odysseys, combined flavours of daring, irreverence and supreme confidence. He was appetite incarnate. He was wanderlust with a lavishly stamped passport and an impish, irresistible grin.

"If I am an advocate for anything, it is to move," he once mused. "As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. Walk in someone else's shoes or at least eat their food. It's a plus for everybody."

How that expansive and inclusive outlook — which was less about the pleasures of the table than about the glory of humanity — didn't buoy him is a puzzle. He had a romantic partner for the last few years, the actress and director Asia Argento, whom he obviously adored — and whose cause he took up during the #MeToo movement. He had an 11-year-old daughter whom he loved.

New York Times

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